Young mums

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Squibby06
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:02 pm 
Post subject: Young mums
I'm new to this and just wanted to see if there are any other young people on here who are trying for a baby,as I haven't been able to find anyone my age who I can talk to about it.

any help would be great,thanks
lisaken
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:09 pm 
Post subject:
hi how old r u xx
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Squibby06
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:20 pm 
Post subject: hi
I'm 19,nearly 20.i forgot to say that before!
Stephi21
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:10 am 
Post subject: Trying to conceive?
I'm only 20 years old and will be 21 - I am trying to have my first baby at the moment - I understand how you feel - you have no1 to talk to - I feel the same..Msg Back
Squibby06
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:33 pm 
Post subject: hi
Hiya,thanks for replying.
how long have you been trying?I only came off the pill in december,so this month will be the first month that we are going to start trying,I'm so excited,yet nervous at the same time!wb
callyann91
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:10 pm 
Post subject:
hi im 17, i just lost my baby at 12 weeks but am going to try again asap, hoping ittl happen soon, im here if u wanna talk.
xx
Squibby06
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:17 pm 
Post subject: hi
HIya.I'm so sorry to hear that hun.I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now.you are very brave to be talking about it so soonGood luck with trying again,I hope things go better for you this time.x
amysmum96
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:38 pm 
Post subject:
just wanna wish you all good luck im not a young mummy im 32 and trying for number 2 but its been a while for me as my daughter is now nearly 12.. so if you like i could say im new at it all as sooo much has changed since 12 yrs ago,, good luck to you all xxx
Squibby06
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:43 pm 
Post subject: Hiya
Hiya.

Thank you so much.everyone on here has been so nice and supportive,so glad i joined!

We're starting trying this month but got a couple of weeks to wait yet before we can get started.I am so impatient already though,goodness knows what I'll be like when I'm waiting to find out!

Good luck to you as well with trying for your 2nd,hope it goes well! xxx
Stephi21
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:39 am 
Post subject: Trying to Conceive??
Hi again! Thanks for replying -

Well where do I start...I have been off my pill since August 2006, but I continued to use other contraseptives until Jan 07 - In Jan 07 is when I started trying to have a baby. And I can tell you that its now April 2008 and my Parnter and I have not yet conceived!! 16 months and I feel I have been trying forever, everyone tells me it will happen when it happens but I could not help getting very stressed over it. I feel It is always in the back of my mind, and I seem to see friend's and family falling pregnant all around me and it makes me feel more anxious. I took a pregnancy test 6 out of 12 months last year because my period is all over the place.

I also went to the Doctor last June who was very cheeky and told me that the NHS couldn't do fertility tests on the whim that I thought I couldn't have children and if I wanted specific tests I would have to go private it made me feel worse than I already did and I felt she was judging me because of my age (can I just add that my partner and I been together a long time and we have our own house and he has his own business we are financially, emotionally and physically ready for this). I have since been back to the doctor November 2007 and he was extremely nice he booked me into to get a smear test and STD testing to make sure nothing was wrong in that sense and they all came back in December clear. I have since tried not to think about it as much as the common theory goes if ur body stresses to much over it, it will not happen.

Everyone may call you to young and try to give you advice ADULT advice as they call it and tell you it will take over our life and the nights out and everything else will go to pot. BUT if your serious enough about it you will not let that get in the way of your happyness to have a family. I know my family and friends around me are only trying to help but I have asked them not to talk about it anymore. I'm 21 in August and I do not care what other people think about me, I'm very happy, I love my partner and he loves me, a Family is all I have been dreaming about since I was little. I have realised that I will not please everyone, but the only people I have to worry about is myself and my partner.

I have not been back to the doctors to see what the next step is yet, I have just been hoping mother nature takes it's course.

The doctor did however give me sum tips - cut down on caffeine, make sure im excersising enough - cut down on smoking (if u smoke) - eat a healthy balanced diet making sure u get ur 5 a day fruit and veg.

Want to ask me anything else about my 16 months of trying - message back

Thanks
MrsE27
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:06 pm 
Post subject:
Its a shame that doctors don't seem to be offering any help for you, I would keep nagging them if I were you as you have been trying for a little while. I'm nearly 28 and have been ttc for 4 months now, no luck so far, feeling quite old tho and have started wishing we had tried a bit earlier or at least come off the pill earlier. My periods have been a litlle irregular so far and very light. so I will go to the doctors this week if I can just for some advice.

I did speak to a beauty therapist at my local leisure centre who said that she is a qualified reflexologist and that can help people concieve as it can help balance your hormones and prepare your body. She also said if nothing else it can help with stress. I am going to try this soon. I heard that acupunture can also help.

Good luck to everyone xx
MrsE27
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:06 pm 
Post subject:
Its a shame that doctors don't seem to be offering any help for you, I would keep nagging them if I were you as you have been trying for a little while. I'm nearly 28 and have been ttc for 4 months now, no luck so far, feeling quite old tho and have started wishing we had tried a bit earlier or at least come off the pill earlier. My periods have been a litlle irregular so far and very light. so I will go to the doctors this week if I can just for some advice.

I did speak to a beauty therapist at my local leisure centre who said that she is a qualified reflexologist and that can help people concieve as it can help balance your hormones and prepare your body. She also said if nothing else it can help with stress. I am going to try this soon. I heard that acupunture can also help.

Good luck to everyone xx
Squibby06
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:15 pm 
Post subject: For Stephi21
Hiya Stephi21.

So sorry to hear it has been taking you so long,you must be so frustrated.I suppose it's something that you don't really think about unless it happens to you.I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

my partner and I haven't actually started trying yet but are planning to this month.I'm actually a bit concerned that I may not be able to conceive as I caught chlamydia from an ex and I know it can cause infertility,particularly as I was left untreated for nearly 7 months,so very worried at the mo.Just a case of wait and see for me I think.

I know what you mean on wanting a family from a young age,I've felt like that since I was about 13 I think and nothing can replace the need.
I also know how you feel about everyone getting pregnant around you too(although I am sure it is harder for you as you have been trying for so long now).So many members of my family have recently had babies,it's hard to hide the jealousy!

Thank you for the tips btw,I will do all those things!I also read a tip that you shouldn't use certain types of lubricant,as they can affect the sperm,which is interesting,don't know if that applies to you?

Another thing I wanted to ask,if you don't mind?How often did you have sex?just because I've been told so many different things and am a little confused-I was told every other day but fro how long?x
Stephi21
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:04 am 
Post subject: TTC again
Hiya Squibby and other who have replied to me - thanks for the extra support just talking helps a bit Smile

It is true lubricant's do affect sperm, it generally slows sperm down and also stops them seeing where they are going!(ps try not to use them) It's all pretty much on this site - but I would by some baby books etc they are brillaint. You can also get them out of the library if money is tight!

And Squibby what you were saying about Chlamydia is so tru if it goes untreated for a long time it can certainly affect fertility - I know this because I have had it aswell, I always thought of myself to be careful when it came to sex and contraceptives but I was cought out and it went undetected for 2 years - i caught it when I was 18 with my ex boyfriend too (i was on the pill but used no other contraceptive) and he denied having it but the doctors in other words told me it was practically impossible for him not to have had it as i was with him for 2 n a half years. I got treatment right away but I automatically thought of that when I first realised I had to see a doctor because I was not conceiving. And when I got my smear test and STD tests in November they were all clear - i am still to go back and see about actually going to a gynachologist and checking that I am releasing eggs each month. My periods have been iregular since I came off my pill in August 2006. I went 3 months last year without a period I dun a PT every other day and had to go to the docotrs that was the doctor that was horrible to me and she put it down to my weight. I put a little on last year which now puts me in the overheight catagory for my height but I don't think the little weight I have put on has affected anything..She just did not want to deal with me!

I would do it 2-3 times a week at least trying to conceive and that is the recommended by doctors and health experts - my partner and I have quite high sex drives we always done it more than that anyway but everyone is different and I would say right now we are down to 1-2 times per week only because of our busy schedules I'm just abt to finish my college qualifications and my Partners Business is thriving.

But can I just add - don't make sex all about trying to have a baby - remember having sex and making love is the fun part of trying to conceive. And if it does take a bit longer like it has done for myself you don't want it to feel like another house hold chore - you want to enjoy being with your partner, having fun and being in the mood! always try new things aswell make it an adventure the both of you can experience and enjoy and be proud when you do conceive.

The best positions to do are spooning, man on top and doggy style (man taking woman from behind), well this is all what I have read - i know you must be thinking what does she know nothing has worked for her yet but I believe it will - it's jsut taking a lit bit longer than usual. They always say women on top wont work as gravity takes its course (what goes up must come down and it makes it a lot harder for sperm to swim).

It has been very very frustrating for me and very stressful, because of my irregular periods last year every time i thought my period was late i thought yes im pregnant but then i was disappointed and the thing was i always had a gut feeling i wasn't but i still built it up to the PT. but stressing gets you know where - when you stress very part of your body feels it and that takes its toll on you. So jsut about xmas time i thought ok I have to stop this - we are happy we will have a baby whenever it happens it will happen. So I don't think about it as much and its actually really helpful to talk about it with strangers if you know what I mean?

The only person I thought I could talk to just doesn't understand how i feel - she has two children already and she looks at it now as in enjoy your youth u dont realise how much this will affect you and ur future. So I gave up months and months ago talking to her, because i wouldn't begin to think abt it if i wasn't happy settled and ready and although I am not married my partner and I are very happy and we always sed from the minute we met we would like any children we had to be present when we do get married no matter what age they are they will always be in the pictures to look back at.

I haven't told my mum or dad either as they would not understand at all as they were young parents - they jsut don't agree in it at all as they have been there. My Mum and Dad are pretty young, my dad is 37 and wanting to have another child with his partner of 10 years and my mum is 39 she has me, my twin sisters and my brother and does not want anymore. But i think its more a you can't have a child before I have another - with my dad, and my mum is just thinking abt her own situation and not mine!!

My partner is soo supportive and this is the best support anyone could ask for - he wants all the same things as myself we are jsut headed in the same path and it is so comforting.

Anyways i better stop talking now....

Need to talk just message back anytime - any advice I can give to help someone on the way to their little family - i am here!! Family is the most important thing in the world!!!

xxx
Squibby06
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:55 pm 
Post subject: hi
Hiya Stephi.

Thank you for the reply,all there info you have given is really helpful and if anything,I think you should know more than anyone,as you have been trying for a while.

It's really nice to be able to talk to you(and others) on here,as none of my family know that I am trying yet-I don't think they would approve.so I have decided not to tell them until I actually get pregnant (well,hopefully) and only a couple friends know,one of which who isn't supportive at all,so I've given up talking to her about it and the one I could talk to had just moved away for 7 months to work,so I can't talk to her either.

As for the chlamydia side of things,my situation was slightly more complicated,as I had split from my ex but was still seeing him regularly,he just didn't tell me he had slept with another girl since we had split and like your ex,he also denied it was him!It is something that is really worrying me though but until I stat trying,I don't know if I have been affected.
It would be nice to know if there are people on here who have had it and still got preg,maybe I will write another post.

My doctor did say to me to try every other day and also,not to get up straight away,which I will try but that's all the info I have,apart from what you have been telling me,so thank you,it's really helpful!

As for what you said about making the sex fun and not just about conceiving,I think that is so important and am going to make sure I do that cos at the moment all I talk about is babies-my bf is probably sick of me by now! lol.
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