Clingy baby who cries when he's laid down

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Gisela
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:44 am 
Post subject: Clingy baby who cries when he's laid down
Our 6 week old is very clingy, mainly as a result of being ill with thrush on and off since he was born. We therefore find that he is a very clingy baby and generally does not settle unless he is being cuddled and then we have difficulty laying him down because he wakes up and becomes more settled and we have to cuddle him back to sleep and so on. We have tried to leave him to cry, offer reassurance but not physically pick him up, soft lights, white noise etc but he generally does not settle unless he is being cuddled. This can be quite restrictive as you then find you cannot do anything without a baby attached. Baby sling does not work due to back ache. Does anyone have any suggestions?
tomizzymum
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:55 pm 
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Wow, those hard times....they get better. The problem with small babies is that they are programmed to do that because when you put him down he could be in danger! Unfortunatly his Instincts don't know that there arn't predatory animals lurking behind the TV. Try a rocking crib or swing as this always works (just keep rocking!!) A dummy, or try feeding him. You can only try your best, and your best will be great for him. Remember a short spurt of tears will not do him any harm, just while you make a cup of tea, or do a little house work.Put him where he can see you and just re-assure him with your voice. Just don't compare him to other babies or listen to what others do as this is where I went wrong. You have to find out what works for you even if others don't agree. It's ok to feel angry and resentful and if it gets too much get help. Just remember he won't be clingy forever! His curiousity about the world will take priority over you eventually! It is often easy to think you are the only one with this problem...but you're not. He is learning how to feel secure, if you make him feel secure he will settle more and more. Just do what you feel is right. I stressed with my first and worried that I was spoiling him and creating dependency. With my second I learnt that I just did what I was comfortable with, what made her happy. I only started to try and discipline my children between 6-12 months, but they were almost permanatly attached to me before that and hardly slept and now I have two secure, independent and in no way clingy children.
I think it sounds like you're doing great, Hope this helps!!
spacegrantham
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:00 am 
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a good sling shouldn't give you backache , even after a couple of hours. If you have a baby bjorn type this might be the problem ? have you considered a wilkinet or a pouch or ring sling ? a mei tai or wrap type sling.

Have a look on www.thebabywearer.com for sling information and to ask other parents about slings. Also see if there is a slingmeet near you so that you can try out other peoples slings and decide what suits you best.

www.slingmeet.co.uk

HTH
Kim
wiangube
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:21 pm 
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Hi Gisela,

I think your problem is not about baby slings, but the behaviour of your child. Try to make him sleep with no cuddling at all.

Baby slings are good if you're trying to take your child everywhere. In that case, I'd suggest you to check this:

http://www.babysling.com

because after trying several baby slings, these have been the best, cheapest and most comfortable at all.
IssiesMummy
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:36 am 
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It's very easy to take onboard too much (often conflicting) information from too many people. Have you noticed yet that, well meaning as they might be, everyone's an "expert" once they've had a baby... especially if it's your first.
I spent practically every hour of every day with my little one and only had my first day away from her at 6 months! And I was told that I would have ever so many problems getting her to stop wanting to be with me. Not true! In fact she told me when she wanted more space.
I wouldn't worry too much about getting into a routine at such a young age. My little girl fell asleep in my arms until she was 9 months old. It was great bonding time. I only really got started on getting her to settle herself when she moved onto solids, it's much easier to create a routine when you know when she's going to get hunry or tired next. I started by getting her used to the idea that she has a nap in the cot in the day, I would wait until she was rubbing her eyes and then I'd put her down in the cot (curtains open) and leave her with some toys to play with. She cried for about 2 minutes then realised she could still hear me walking around and that she was actually more interested in the toys and got on with playing. She was aleep 5/10 mintues later. Once she was used to the daytime routine the night-time one just naturally followed the same pattern. It took her about a week, and yes some days she will cry for longer (one day it was on and off for about an hour - I'd made the mistake of putter her into bed before she was really tired enough), but the thing I realised is that if she's worn out enough then she will enevitably fall asleep.
Keep your chin up and stay relaxed, follow your instincts and remeber Mummy Knows Best!!
Zoebee
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:22 pm 
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Have you tried the kiddapotamus system?
I had the same issues with my little girl. She is seven months now but she was exactly the same and i know how frustrating it gets. I used the kidapotamus on her- its a swaddleing sytem that wraps them realy tight but it comes with velcro so they can get out- there are cheaper ones available but they don't work the same.
I got the fleecy one which heats them up nicely and their body heat feels to them like someone is holding them- great if you need a rest. I sound like an advertsing thing here LOL but there are loads of fabrics n styles and i think they even do organic stuff if your an eco warrior. Shes just come out of that now - i think its just a security thing some babies go through especially if they are small or have been ill. good luck x
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