How do you stop your self getting down?

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constar24
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:10 pm 
Post subject: How do you stop your self getting down?
Hello All,

I'm new to this but I could really do with hearing your opinions...

I have been trying to conceive for 4 months now and no luck. This month I've been suffering alot of nausea & headaches & I even threw up a couple of times so you can imagine my excitement that I might be pregnant!!!

Then my period was late which it never is - but I have now got it (maybe my cycle length was calculated incorrectly?)

I am starting to feel really disheartened and I don't want to sound bad but I seem to be surrounded by women who are pregnant/just discovered they are pregnant and it is really getting me down.

I feel like going back on the pill 'cos I'm not sure I can cope with the disappointment every month - how are you all coping?
Carline
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:21 pm 
Post subject: Stopping yourself from getting down
Hi Constar24,

I've just logged on today, so am new to this as well (so please bear with me if it all goes wrong!)

I've been trying since January to get pregnant (and still no luck) so know how you're feeling - also, I currently have 7 sevens friends who are pregnant at the moment and they are due one after the other, so from now until January, I'll be out buying for other people and not myself Sad

But I have a really supportive husband who gives me a big hug and tells me it's going to be ok - and although I don't always believe it, I have to if I'm going to keep trying for the thing I know we both want the most.

Hopefully joining the forum and talking to others in the same situation will make it more bearable?
loonette
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:12 pm 
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I too am new at this, however not new to the deep saddness. What probably happened is you probably were pregnant then miscarried as i did in my 4th month of TTC. It now has been 10 months and 4 negative pregnancy tests (the last one this morning). I work in a daycare where througout this whole time i have been TTC there have been over 15 births, plus just before i found out that yes i was indeed pregnant and had miscarried, that my very close friend was pregnant and due a couple of weeks before i would have been. While i am happy for her, i find that she is not very sensitive to my feelings. Now every month i find myself crying for a day or so when i get my period, but have to move on.
DevonMum
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:10 am 
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hi folks

I tried for 14 horrible months before it finally hapenned. You really do need to let yourself get miserable and cry. I had those 2 days a month of sheer misery for a long time, and I honestly can't say it gets better as time goes on - I totally feel for you.

The only thing that really helped me was when I started to take a little bit of control. Set yourself dates for pregnancy tests which are at least 2 days after your period due date. It saves money on test kits, and reduces the times where you have those few minutes of excitement followed by crashing disappointment. (also when I actually WAS pregnant my test came out negative - so i went out and got VERY drunk - which I still feel guilty about!!)
The other thing I did to try and impose some control was to go to my doctor. They told me normally they don't refer until you have been trying for 2 years blah blah - just keep pushing for them to help. The emotional trauma is just too horible to contemplate without having something to aim for. I was also 33 when i started trying, so was doubly concerned as I felt I was close to last chance saloon for babies.

I'm now really glad I did that, as I discovered I hadn't been ovulating and Clomid was needed to kick start my eggs - I then fell pregnant immediately. So do push for medical help if you feel you need it, ovulation tests help a little bit too.

But at the end of the day you just have to be prepared for that point of despair every month, and ask for support from partner, mum, friends etc to get you through it each month.

Good luck, I really hope you get there!!
laura1982
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:44 am 
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Hello,
I am new to this. I am glad some one has brought up this subject of feeling down.
We have been trying to conceive for 10 months now with no luck and the feeling when I get my period each month is dreadful. I got my period today and I want to cry and not stop till its finished.
Iím in work at the moment and people I work with are pregnant it is driving me insane. I am happy for them really it just doesnít help me on days like this. Just want to grab my bag and walk out but I know I cant do that.
No one else knows that we are trying and my o/h supports me and gives me hugs but doesnít understand why I get so teary and down each month.
Iím going to buy an ovulation predictor today, which I havenít tried up to now. The only thing which is bothering me, is that my o/h is in the forces and goes away for 8 months next month, so this will be my last chance! Till next year anyway. That doesnít help the depressing feelings Iíve got today!
And we all thought it would be so easy when we stopped contraception, what a nightmare this truly is!
Iím pleased to know that I am not the only one in this situation and feel like going slightly bonkers each month.
Laura
Nikkibikki
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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:06 am 
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I am also new to this forum lark, but find it very comforting that you all are in the same boat as me. I have been "off the pill" for 7 years and hoped I would fall pregnant naturally, but didn't. A year ago we were referred for treatment and have started Clomid this month.
It really does take over your whole life and I just can't stop thinking about it all the time, god knows how you cope over years.
Just to say to everyone stay positive, as I am trying, and lets hope that it will happen.
N
DevonMum
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:25 am 
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It really is worth seeing doctor and specialist, and having a crack with all the various options available. Clomid worked for me, but if it doesn't work (I think its normal to give 3 months on it) then your local assisted conception clinic will arrange a laperoscopy to investigate further. They should also test for chlamydia and a couple of other things that can affect fertility - and don't forget your chap in all this. Make sure he gets his sperm tested early on too - it sounds daft, but just doing all those things and getting results etc etc makes it feel like you are doing something positive, and moving it all forwards - which actually helps the depression I think. I definitely improved once we had appointment dates etc and were waiting for test results and stuff.

Don't get me wrong - it's still absolutely vile and will result in that awful crying period every month, but somehow it feels slightly easier to bear when you can say to yourself "I may not be pregnant still, but at least I'm DOING something to get me there"

Hope it works for some of you ladies, in the meantime /hugs to you all
Crin
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:28 am 
Post subject: trying to concieve
Hi all out there TTC, i never realised how stressful it was going to be, we have been trying for 16 months. I have had some very dark moments and did actually feel clinically depressed for a while but you have to snap out of it, it's not worth it, fortunately that black cloud has lifted now though I still cry when I get my period. I totally agree that seeking medical help really changes things as you think you are doing somthing positive and you feel more in control. My partner has had the semen analysis that was ok and I've had several blood tests that were ok, so I now have an appointment at the sub-fertility clinic in november, I think give it a year then seek help. I am 36 so I do worry that I have left it too late but my doctor disagrees so we will just have to see. Good luck everyone.
DevonMum
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:21 pm 
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hey Crin - sounds sooooo similar to my situation. If the tests keep coming back OK - it probably IS OK... although I never believed that until pregnancy was confirmed.

Good Luck Razz
Jelly31
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:07 pm 
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Evening everyone,

I'm feeling down myself, have been trying for only 4 months with no luck and yet all my friends and my sister are harping on about how it happened straight away for them. Not least the fact that I have spent the last 15 years trying not to get pregnant! I used an ovulation kit for the first time this month and today is 14 days post LH surge, but have had a negative pregnancy test just now. My longest cycle has been 37 days which would be tomorrow. So who knows what is happening in there!

Anyway chin up everyone, we will all get there.
DevonMum
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:28 pm 
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good luck Jelly!

might be worth explaining your feelings to your sister and co, so they can try and understand your situation a bit better - my best mate is Mrs 'look at me for long enough and i get pregnant' and it took her ages to understand the nightmare of negative tests.... once she got it though she was super supportive throughout.
keekaboo
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:26 am 
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hi all, well weve only just started trying and i started bleeding today i've never cried so much b4, i feel useless and so s**t Crying or Very sad
it's only been 1 month since we started and i'm like this don't think i could handle months of this!
ah well maybe next month Confused
xxxx
WannaBeMum
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:44 pm 
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Hi Keekaboo,

I know its really hard hunni, I always get sooooo down when I do my HPT and I get a negative. For some it happens really quick and for others it can take some time. I've been TTC for approx 3 months now, and each time I have ended up with negative HPT's and like you I ended up bawling my eyes out, and feeling so damn useless.

Keep your chin up hun, and sending loads hugs your way (((((((keekaboo)))))))


smala
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Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:53 am 
Post subject: Me Toooo
Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Hi everyone!!I'm new here and I been trying for almost 2yrs now.I am so frustrated and angry.I may sound evil but I became so bad I can;t bring myself to call my very best friend to congralute her on her 2nd pregnancy.I am so sad only u gals could understand! Rite? I am so tired of waiting and feel like just to stop doing anything and keep on sleeping!!! Can anyone advise me something so I can cope with this???
DevonMum
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Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 10:01 am 
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hey smala - yep I think everyone here understands how you feel to some degree at least.

Really truly would say that taking a little bit of control gives you the will to keep going. See your doctor, get referred to your local fertility clinic and start going through the eternal fun of continuous testing (I swear they had about 8 gallons of my blood in the end!!) same for your partner, make sure he's on board and happy to get tested. It can be horrible if you end up having to hear bad news - but at least you will have facts, and can then make the best decisions based on your real options.

In the meantime, crying a lot and raspberry ripple ice cream were my personal coping tools Crying or Very sad

/hug and hope you feel better soon, and I wish you every piece of luck possible in ttc. Find one thing to smile about every day Very Happy

Anna
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