How do you stop your self getting down?

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Rubycherry
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:27 am 
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Hi Im new here too and I am in exactly the same boat. I have wanted a baby for so long and now my partner wants it just as me. I was so excited that we were finally trying! Two of my best friends were pregnant at the time (one has given birth now) and 2 of my work colleagues announced their pregnancies, much to my despair and envy. This is my fifth month of trying and I had been driving myself crazy and getting so down every time I got my period. At my third month I really thought I was pregnant, my period was late, I felt 'different' and my boobs were far sorer than usual pre-menstrual symptoms. But alas my period came, only a day or so late, but I was convinced for a few days that I was pregnant and was so disappointed that I wasnt. I realised then that If I didnt stop stressing about this that I would drive not only myself but my partner insane. It was affecting my whole life, it was all I ever thought about. I obsessed with doing ovulation tests, checking my basal body temperature etc. The almost 'forced' sex that my partner and I were having just was not enjoyable anymore. So I just decided to stop. Not stop trying for a baby, but stop stressing about it. I really want a baby and I want one right now but until the time is right it wont happen.

So for the last 2 months I have not done any ovulation tests or checked my temperature. Instead I have kept happpy thoughts in my mind that one day I will get pregnant, it doesnt have to happen immediately. It has made me so much more relaxed, that my partner finds me more attractive, and the sex we have been having is so much better, and having sex alot, all of the time not just around ovulation has made us feel alot closer and sexier and together. I have no doubt in my mind that Im more likely to concieve now that I am happier and more relaxed. A few of my friends had told me that when they 'gave up' on trying for their babies, they concieved that month.

I understand that it is easier said than done to let go as it totally consumes your mind and then your mind tricks your body, leaving you to believe that you are pregnant, then breaks your heart. Good luck to everyone out there that is trying! I will keep you posted on what happens to me. Smile
kittens8
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:31 am 
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Thisis month 11 for me and it's bloody hideous. My best friemnd just found out she's havinga boy and while i'm plased for her, i wish it was me. Anywaty 11 days till i can test. wish meluck
xxx
keekaboo
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 10:56 am 
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i'm in to my third month ttc and im so drained with the negative test's and the dissapointment every month, i've got 9 day's till i can do a test i hope its positive this month Confused
xxxx
cowgirls
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:12 am 
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hey
my partner and i have been trying for 4 months too
had the same as you and it was found to be a cyst so go to
your doctor and get an ultersound Sad
Jeni
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:13 am 
Post subject: Down
Hi there, i am new to this. I just wanted to say that i was not expecting to feel so down about ttc. We have been ttc now for 8 months and, like many of you everyone around me seems to be pregnant, i know 9 people at the moment all expecting! My DH is supportive but finds the whole thing a bit pressured and seems to be avoiding having sex too often which is really getting me down, i feel like i cannot force it on him too much as the more I do the less inclined he is. I am feeling really down at tne moent and cannot sleep and am teary most of the time, any advice?
DevonMum
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:14 am 
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Hi Jeni

feel so sorry for you, and know exactly how you feel. If you possibly can, try to not have sex JUST to try for a baby - its important for both of you to enjoy sex and to have fun while you try. Easier said than done, but try to relax, and don't let ovulation rule your life.

Good luck

Anna
toya
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:34 pm 
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hi am very new to this so plz try an bear with me. i have been trying for a baby for over a year i have been to the docs and had all the test done and they come back that everything is normal. which is good. but does not stop me feelin down every month when i get mt peroid.
This month i am 1 week an a day late im trying not to get my hopes up. im going to keep my fingers crossed and do a test in a week or so (if i dont get my period)
i wish every one who is trying the very best of luck and hope in the end we all het what we want
fireyfairy
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:29 pm 
Post subject: hey
Im new as well. I have been actively TTC for about a year now...I really want to become a mum and I threw away my chance at being one in March 2005. I fell pregnant but my partner (who I have now been with for nearly 4 years) and I were really not stable enough to have a baby so, I had a termination, Embarassed which is completely against what I believe...you may think I'm a horrible monster Evil or Very Mad but I had no other choice...

Now, we have been trying and I can't help but regret what I've done...I can't help feeling that I may have messed up my chances of having another child (even though the place where I had the termination was clean and not a backstreet clinic....Marie Stopes)

Every month we try around my ovulation time and every month I still have a period...My best friend has just discovered that she's pregnant and she doesn't want it, but I can't help but feel jealous! She's a lovely girl but always in and out of relationships..and I think to myself, why couldn't that happen to me...the baby bit not the relationship bit!

I just feel so disheartened by all of this...I cried my heart out when my period came last month because I was being sick regularly and had very tender breasts... I became preg very quickly before but this is getting silly...

What should I do Sad will it ever happen for me?

xxx Fireyfairy xxx
dollychops2
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:52 pm 
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Keep your chin up Fireyfairy, it wil happen xxx
DevonMum
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:07 pm 
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heya fireyfairy

just relax and enjoy the trying as much as you can. Do the usual with ovulation testing if it helps identify your ovulation times - or better still just have masses of sex all month long Very Happy

really truly don't beat yourself up about the abortion. We all make choices in life, and it sounds like you had good reason. Think of it this way - when you do conceive this time, baby will be loved and wanted a million times more than you could have done before, which will make it all worth it Very Happy

keep smiling and I really hope it works out for you

Anna
1stTimeMummyX
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:09 pm 
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Hi Everyone, before i start just like to say that these forums are great! I dont feel alone anymore! its like everyone is friends and its GREAT!!!

Ive been TTC for nearly 2 yrs now (after an ectopic pregnany which my left fallopian tube was removed)and every month i get my period... its awful! Now im a week late with 2 negative pregnancy tests one of which was 2day. Getting lots of symptoms too! so getting worried now it mite be another ectopic any help ??? And ive been to the docs and because im only twenty they arent really that bothred!Really getting a bit down about it for the past year

Love Loren xxx
Sakura
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:18 pm 
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hello all,

wow, there are some pretty heart wrenching stories here, i can't imagine what it must feel like to go through the dissapointment like that each month, and some of you have been trying for years!!

i am completely humbled by these posts as me n hubby got pregnant first time trying for both of our boys.

would just like to say that i think you're all incredibly brave to keep trying and you must all be stong characters to keep getting though the dissapointment coz i know id be a wreck if it was me.

good luck trying everyone, really, really hope you all succeed xxxx hugs xxxxx
KJ24
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 9:45 am 
Post subject: Gutted!!
Hi All,

After months of my cycle being all over the place, (early one month then quite late for a couple of months) i came on on my due date. I was so gutted! Me and my partner have been ttc for 5months now which compared to some people's stories isn't that long, but there is a 14yr age gap between me and my partner. he's just turned 38 whilst i've just turned 24. We both desperately want children and i find that i end up beating myself up every month when i come on thinking what could i have done better this month?

I have had a few problems for the last 2months of ttc. My stomach is swollen and i had pains on the right side of it. along with very late periods (which i didn't suffer with until we started ttc) i thought i was pregnant. Practically convinced myself and my partner! Embarassed I felt terrible each month because i would say to him i feel pregnant this month, i would be late on my periods and having the sickness etc. But nothing!

I went to the Docs and had a scan done as they thought it could be something wrong with one of my organs? Have to wait til new year for results as hospital wouldn't tell me anything so on top of wanting to get pregnant so so badly i have the fear that there could be something wrong with me too.

I feel like i was letting my partner down which is why i haven't said anything about getting pregnant this month. He is convince that next year will be a good year and that well conceive then. I just want to put the last couple of months behind us, go out over xmas have a few drinks and laughs and think about ttc in the new year. Unfortuantely ttc is all i can think of.

Can anyone help?? Embarassed Sad Crying or Very sad
Ranune
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:27 pm 
Post subject: Why is it not working?
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I need someone's help... I've been trying for a year and 3 months to conceive.. and I haven't.. We have done some medical exams but everything is normal... We are taking folic acids and vitamins... its just not working... we have counted the days and done everything possible.. I'm really tired.. I'm goiing through a really hard time... to a point where I see a baby, I cry automatically... I love kids.. I used to baby sit... My sister has 3 kids one of which is a new born... I mean.. its not like anyone in the family has gene problems... My husband loves kids tooo.. We are dying to bare a baby.. I'm a faithful person.. I pray.. I am healthy... I try to do everything right in life... So why am I not getting pregnant.... We are financially down at this moment.. we really can't afford medical assistance? What do we do? Please help.. I'm dying here!
KJ24
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:48 pm 
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Hi Ranune,

I don't know what to say that could possibly make you feel better, I kind of know how you feel in a way. Me and my partner are ttc and have been for 6 months. We haven't had any luck and it tears me up inside sometimes. I have a younger sister and she has done everything before me. She got engaged, moved away, had a baby which at the time I was very bitter about. I found out on Christmas Eve that she is pregnant again. On one hand it took me a couple of weeks to accept it, I mean how could it be fair that she could have children and I couldn't.

I couldn't congratulate her at the time. I felt so jealous of her. Now I have recently found out that my sister and her partner have been trying for 2 years for this second child and they have been through a lot to get where they are. So miricales do happen, and one day you and I will have our miracle child.

Sit back try to not let the thoughts of it consume you. Me and my partner had fun over christmas. I remembered what love making was all about and He was so romantic. Its times like that when you are more likley to concieve than if you think about it all the time.

I understand that financially you are not able to get proffessional help and I don't know where you are in the world but speak to your Doctor. Tell them what you have been doing, see if they can help in a way that means you haven't got to spend the money you don't have that when you are pregnant you are going to need.

Keep smiling and I hope that some of this has helped. Stay in touch with this site, believe me it has helped me so much to know that there are people going through exactly what you are and that you can talk to them so easily.

Good Luck Hun.

kylie.

Very Happy Razz
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