how supportive is your partner ?

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lory
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:10 pm 
Post subject: how supportive is your partner ?
hi There iam fairly new to this site . how are you all doing hope all is gong well.
I was just woundering how supportive your partners . i have been in a 5 year relation ship with a guy adore and love wit all my heart we are both in our 20s but he seems to be more intrested in setting days to see his friends and planning lots off things with them now and when i have had the baby (4 month to go hooray) he just doesnt seem to suportive or looking forward to the birth at all i try to talk to him about it but it just gets shrugged away is he scared? i wounder . he never talks about the birth and it is a chore for me to get him to take me places to buy thing we need for the baby some times i feel alone and doing this by my self i dont know if he is adjusting to the idea of becoming a dad . other than these issues every thing is totaly ok.
is it just my fella ? has any body got any advise or sujestions that could help me with this issue ? thank u


Last edited by lory on Tue May 06, 2008 11:23 am; edited 1 time in total
Huntermac
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:30 pm 
Post subject: supportive husbands
Hi there and welcome to the site! I've been with my husdand since I was 16, 17yr this Oct and he was exactly the same. I had to draw attention to changes in my body, ask him to come over and feel the kicks, it felt as though he wasnt interested at all. Im not sure how old you both are but he was 37yr when I fell pregnant and I think the thought of being a father still scared him. Im thinking your parnter is trying to keep things the same out of nerves of being a dad not because he intentionally wants to ignore you. I totally understand how you must be feeling right now, scared of whats to come, alittle alone because you feel as though you are doing this all yourself? Im not sure what you have in the way of support groups but in New Zealand we have our antinatal classes in the middle of prgnancy and alot of mums seek support from each other. If you can, find a group in your area and you will be amazed at how many women there are who feel exactly the same. You may find your partner needs some support of fathers to be as well. Most importantly though, talk to him about the way your feeling, honestly, communication over the next few months will be the sanity saver. Best of luck with your pregnancy, all of us here online will be here to support you too!!
tealbutterfly
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:28 am 
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I know what you mean. I feel like i am pushing my partner to feel it involved and i don't know if it's just a man thing. Perhaps he is interested but not in the detail we are. I got my partner a book out from the library called something like 'Pregnancy a blokes prospective'. It gives the lots of information about the changes women go through and bonding with their baby e.t.c but i think men find it hard to admit that they are scared too and therefor act differently.
I had a glimpse through the book before handing it over and there was actually a point in it that said 'we don't need the week by week updates like the women, it's just too much information' The book really simplifies it.

In someways i reckon my partner thinks if he shares his fears he is ruining it for me, but i don't see it like that, i wish we'd talk more. I wish he would ask more questions and would be more involved. I too feel alone but i am hoping it will change as the pregnancy progresses.
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joshlibmum
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 9:13 pm 
Post subject: supportive husbands
I definately think its a man things my partner was the same obviously excited but not as much as me i had to get his hand and say feel the baby kicking i agree that men dont need the detailed step by step women do but when it came to my son being born my partner was in tears and phoning everybody telling them how proud he was of me and still 5 yrs and another child later he tells everybody what a special feeling it is seeing your children being born
tealbutterfly
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 5:26 am 
Post subject: Re: supportive husbands
joshlibmum wrote:
I definately think its a man things my partner was the same obviously excited but not as much as me i had to get his hand and say feel the baby kicking i agree that men dont need the detailed step by step women do but when it came to my son being born my partner was in tears and phoning everybody telling them how proud he was of me and still 5 yrs and another child later he tells everybody what a special feeling it is seeing your children being born


Aww that's beautiful, so there is hope for the guys who seem like they are not interested. I suppose they are not experiencing the flutters, kicks, changes in body e.t.c but when they see their newborn it all changes. x
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lory
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:57 am 
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thanx for your support and advise on supportive partners i am glad to hear thant its just not my partner it must just definatley be a man thing.thanx again
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Cazz
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 7:14 pm 
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Hiya,

I have been with my partner for 3 years ans we had planned to get maried next year.......... Bump came along and now he has moved the wedding forward to July 19th this year.

He has been an absolute angel so far with my pregnancy.

I work full time and so does he, so , he has arranged for a lovely lady called Julia to come to the house and do the cleaning, lady called Mandy to collect and do the ironing and bought me one of those shiatsu massage chairs.

I knew he was a star before the pregnancy started but he has really been supportive and caring, even when I turn into a hormonal carzy cow LOL

You name a pregnancy book and he has read it and brought it ome with the pages marked with the bits that he thinks I need to read about.

Sorry to sound like I am gushing but he really has been a darling and I couldn't ask for a more suportive partner.

Cazz xxx
Huntermac
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 2:27 am 
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Cazz your partner sounds like a dream!! Well done you for snagging that one!! How nice it is to hear someone say how fantastic their partner is being. Will make you want to have lots more................
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Marmalade
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 8:44 am 
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To be honest I can't fault my hubby, not only is he extremely excited but he's been fantastic through all my hormonal outbursts (and there's been a few). I think they find it a bit hard sometimes because they don't experience the changes that we do.
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xSiobhanAx
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 2:28 pm 
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tbh, he's as supportive as a pile of poo

we're not 2gether anymore
me and Josh went out 4 5/6months and then he got me pregnant and ran a mile. he denied ands till does 2 everyone at school when everyone found out I was pregnant that Molly is his and he skives off school a lot so he didnt even know I'd had her till he saw m in the street on weds and he was like "oh, u had it then, what is it?" and he said she was quite cute and then he saw someone from school and purposely shouted "that aint mine" and walked off. he made Molly cry. but I dont need him, hes a pig!
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:08 pm 
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omg he sounds like a rite idiot. he will be running to u wen he a grown up abit and matured then u can tell him were to go lol.
xx
xSiobhanAx
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:10 pm 
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yeah he is a total k**b lol
yeaps ur right, I bet he will hun and lol I shall defo Wink xx
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:13 pm 
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well good luck hun. im so excited 2 be mummy now only 5 weeks left. xx
xSiobhanAx
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:42 pm 
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thanks hun
aww wkd, is he ur 1st? wow 5 weeks, that'll fly by Smile xxx
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:45 pm 
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yeah he my 1st i have a idiot farther 2. so single mummy but iv got my mum 4 help lol. bet its loud in ur house aint it wi 2 babys lol x
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