Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:49 pm
Post subject: Baby blues or pnd?
This isn't something that's easy for me to talk about but I just wanted to ask for some advice really.
Is it possible for the baby blues to last this long?see I had a few days in the first week,as we all do where i felt rubbish but in the last 2 weeks,it seems to be coming back and I'm worried I've got PND,it's got so bad now,I keep threatening to leave my OH,now I love him to bits and I'd never leave,so I don't know why I say it,but it's just the way I feel at the time,I can't help it.
I find that when I'm on my own with Alfie,I don't enjoy looking after him,it's more something that I have to do,rather than want to but when other people are there,I feel better and I don't know it it's just me putting on a brave face and pretending or what but it's really starting to worry me.
I don't think anyone suspects anything is wrong,because I always pretend I'm fine and most of the time,I do feel fine and I love my little man to bits,I wouldnt change it for the world,it's just me that seems to be the problem and I'm scared if it doesn't improve,it'll ruin things with my OH.
He does know how I've been feeling,I couldn't talk to him,so I wrote him a letter instead and he confessed he'd actually thought it himself.he wants me to go to the doctor but I'm too scared,because it's going to mean going back over a lot of stuff from my past,which I don't think I can handle.
I think it's happened because I was already depressed before I got pregnant,because of my past and I'd never got any help for it,so now it's got worse and I don't know what to do.
sorry for the long post,just had to get that off my chest xx
Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:33 pm
I am so sorry you are feeling low,
It sounds like PND because baby blues just make you a little teary, not actually feel like you do,
do you have a nice health visitor who you can talk to? that might be the first step,
if not don't be worried about going to your GP you won't have to talk about anything you don't want to, just expalin how you are feeling at the moment and then they can get you right and back to normal
i would try and talk to your health vistor and your GP as soon as you can hun, it must be awful that you feel like this and when you are all sorted you can start enjoying every minute of your beautiful boy
Well dodne for talking up and letting your OH know,
hope you get it all sorted soon hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:24 am
definitely worth a chat with HV or GP I'd say. If you are worried you won't be able to talk, print out your post from here, and maybe take the letter you wrote your OH as well?
There's a lot of support around for PND these days, its so common now.
Last thing - if you usually feel better with other people around, its probably the normal isolation/my baby stole my life thing that we ALL get regardless of PND - but with the 2 rearing their heads at the same time your bound to be feeling stressed with it. Get out there and spend time with other people - it can really lift your spirits a lot.
You know where we all are any time you need to vent or talk hun
Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:14 pm
Thank you all so much for your replies,it's really helped me a lot,at least I know it probably is PND now.my OH wanted to talk to my health visitor the other day for me,but I knew she'd want to talk to me too and I just didn't feel ready.
Maybe I am hoping it will go away on it's own,but it doesn't seem like it.I'm due my 6 week check soon anyway,so maybe I'll wait until then.I know I should probably go before but it's just finding the guts to go,because I know a whole lot of stuff is going to be brought up again and I'm not sure I can handle it with the way I'm feeling at the mo.
My OH doesn't really help because he doesn't get that it's not every single minute that I feel like this and he forgets,so when I do feel really low,he doesn't understand why and it really doesn't help having to explain to him all the time.
I could talk to my mum,because she suffered with PND herself but I find it hard to talk to her,I wouldnt say we were that close,so I'd feel weird about it.I think the docs is my best bet,it's just picking the right time xxx