Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:51 am
Post subject: Ive lost my bump - Dakota
Im not sure i should be posting this on here but i didnt know where else, and im trying desperately to cope with my loss!
I went for my 12wk scan yesterday only to be told the baby had died in the last few weeks. I cant believe this has happened for the 2nd time, i even had an early scan at 7.5wks and everything was fine, nice strong heartbeat and growing well...and to think the next week something went horribly wrong.
I lost my other bump at 12wks in september, didnt know anything was wrong again until the 12wk scan but the baby had died very early at 5wks.
I made the decision to have a d&c, due to complications and nearly haemorraghing with the last one, so im due to go in friday.
I just keep thinking back to see if i had done something i shouldnt have - like a glass of wine, or lifting my 2yr old, or carrying heavy shopping etc.
Im also mad at myself for buying stuff for me and the bump, maternity clothes and after my early scan i bought a steriliser and bottles on offer in asda, i even bought a pack of nappies last week - i just feel stupid for doing that and now i have to pack it all away again.
I was desperate to have 2nd child before my daughter turned 3 in nov this year, then we lost the baby but i was so happy to be given a 2nd chance in august..now that dream is never going to happen this year!
Im sorry for the long post - i just feel why me, why us again?
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 2:02 pm
hi hun i just want to say i'm really sorry to hear about your loss. am sending my love to you and your family and big hugs to you
I cant imagine how hard it is to loose a baby, but i want to wish you thes best of luck for trying for your next one.
your not silly for buying thosee things it was a natural thing for you to do.
Maybe if there is somthing you particually like you bought for your baby you could put in a keepsake box.
i really dont know waht else to say hun but i hope you are ok.
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:15 pm
I just realised we are going through the same thing I had a miscarriage in November and it was a natural miscarriage I got pregnant again I should be eight weeks I saw baby at 6 weeks with a heartbeat and hen on sunday started bleeding and went a+e and then for a scan on monday there was no heartbeat and no growth I decided to have a natural miscarriage rather than d+c and it ha been horrific this time I passed the bumb in the bath and I was no emotionally ready for this I have personally given up ttc for at leat 2 years because i dont think i can cope wih anoher loss i have no children I brough a few bits and feel like an idiot after we saw he heartbeat i thought it would be ok and the technican said it was a very strong heartbeat and i just keep asking why it doesnt help that this is so painful but please try not to blame yourself they do say when you lose a baby early is is from severe defects I know it doesnt take the pain away but maybe it can soothe you a little bt my houghts are with you at this difficult time
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:17 pm