Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:51 am
Post subject: Feeling Guilty
I'm new to this site and just found out a couple of days ago we are expecting our 2nd baby. We already have a four year old daughter and I'm really worried about how she's going to take the news.
We are an army family so move about regulaly and dont have etxra support from our families. Although the friends we meet are really good.
I'm just feeling abit guilty that she's going to feel left out or not able bond with her new brother or sister.
Hope someone out there can re assure me!!
Oh yeh and when do we tell her? I'm only 5 week so I dont want to tell her yet but dont know how or when to do it?!?!?!
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:34 pm
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Last year i became unexpectedly pregnant and we had to break the news to our 2 kids (then aged 3 1/2 and 6 1/2) My eldest was thrilled and spent the next 6 1/2 months waiting impatiently for our baby to arrive. My younger seemed happy enough, but I don't think fully understood what was happening and wasn't particularly excited. I recomend trying to involve your daughter as much as possible in the pregnancy. My sons came with me to scans (some hospitals are ok with this and some arent) and took the scan picture into school for show & tell. Once the baby was moving around I encouraged them to feel it. Towards the end of the pregnancy they helped me get things ready for the baby. However I don't think my younger son (by then aged 4) ever fully understood that this wriggly bump was going to come out and live with us, so don't worry if your daughter seems the same. it's still quite young to get their head round such a big change! However once our baby arrived both my children have been wonderful - they love holding him and talking to him. Again it helps to involve them as much as possible, with things like nappy changing - I aklways ask one of my kids to fetch me the nappy and bath time. It's also nice to find some shared activities - I have put my new baby in the big bath with them from about 1 week old and they all love it, story time and song time are other activities that can be appreciated by all children, whether aged 1 day or 7 years! I've had no jealousy from either child and both have bonded really well with the new baby. Sorry for such a long post - hope some of this is useful! Good luck with your pregnancy!