Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:09 pm
I was a single mum from when my little girl was 3 weeks, old her dad was a waste of space and messed me about bad, he was cheating so i chucked him out, from then on i was a single mum, I was very content to be on my own just my baby girl and me but i recently have met someone new, who is just amazing with my baby girl, good things can happen ladies, keep strong, you're all amazing.
Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:36 pm
hey i am just about to be a single mum, hopefully sooner then later i left my x oh when i was 18 weeks pregnant because he was in love with one of his x girlfriends who lived miles away lol waste of space could call him a lot of things really!!!! arhhhhhhh hate him lol thank god i have not seen him since the last thing i told him was that i didn't want him to ever see me or my baby again so glade i said that now because i have my little man to think of soon (hopefully today or tomorrow) lol anyway sorry about my little rant hope you are all well xx
Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:08 pm
Post subject: single mum
I split with my baby to be father at 10 wks pregnant as he just wasnt the man I thought he was. He called me selfish, hormonal [*CENSORED*] and basically treat me and my feelings like [*CENSORED*] for the first 3 months. However I do believe a baby needs a daddy yet I am comfused as to what to do when babys born. He seems to think we are gonna be one big happy family as I have let him be as involved as he can be, living 25 miles away and being on the dole while I work my ass off.
yet Once baby arrives what sort of access shall I give him? I was thinking maybe 2 three hour sessions a week and his family a 1-2 hr session once a week as well. Is that enough???
He and his family do my nut in, but thats not babys fault, so shall I just put up with him and them for babys sake?
I am SO confused its stressing me out!
Is there anyone else in this situation?
Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 10:44 am
Hi there, i'm in a similar situation. Other half not the man i thought he was or could be based on what he told me he wanted etc and i have ended up now 18 weeks pregnant and pretty much on my own. I have had enough of his sh*t and so told him to go away in the nicest possible way! My OH seems to thrive on being told to get lost but when i give him an olive branch he backs off so i took my self off to my midwife to explain everything etc, she was lovely and advised me to take time off work to get my head straight and relax as like you im totally stressed out with it all. I am still off now having had almost a week but my head is really no clearer.
I have come to the conclusion that NO-ONE should put up with sh*t just because you are pregnant, if you were to be with him for the babies sake then it's ultimately not going to work out... You need to decide if you want to be with him and visa versa regardless of the baby as YOU have to be happy and having a baby is the biggest strain on a relationship at the best of times (is this your first?). I understand how your feeling hun, i really do, it's good to talk it through with people, friends, family or on here. Think of whats best for you hunny, he can still be father if your not together but if you think there is a chance it could work then give it a chance...it all rests on how ou feel. x x x
Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 4:02 pm
Aw bless you hu, for both your kind words and your advice. I am 26 wks pregnant and have been trying to put off deciding what to do as long as poss. But cant delay forever. I think he knows that we are not gonna get back together, hes just not acknowledging it to himself. I just dont want to alienate him from his childs life yet I dont particualrly want him or his family in mine.
As I am self employed I dont get 2 mins to myself ever to think anything through so end up just going with the flow, but is there anyone that I can ask about his access rights when baby is born. I dont want him turning up when he feels like it! But I do want him to get to know the baby. And what about maintenance? Who do you ask about things like this????
Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 4:19 pm
I'm a single mum to my 2.8yr old son. I left his father when my son was 14months old. He was violent towards me, even kicked me in the stomach when I was pregnant. During one of his rages my son got hurt.... so I got out. I have had no contact with him since we left.
I have to say its not always easy being by myself but I have a beautiful little boy who I hope doesn't remember anything about what happened to us in the past.
Hope you are all doing well with your pregnancies
Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 5:09 pm
Hiya add me to your list single mum to be at 11 weeks, although cannot really grumble ex is still being very supportive it was a mutual break up we just dont work together we work better as friends strange we just realized that after 5 years together and a baby on the way but oh well love being single, do get a bit lonely sometimes but i get over that, women are strong, stronger than men and we do tend to work better on our own good luck to everyone xx
Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:08 pm
Im single but Im not - Im in quite a weird position.
I got pregnant whilst on the pill with my bf at uni we'd been together for a yr and a half. I have to return home to have the baby because I cant afford to live near the uni which is 6 hrs away from my home and I want my parents around me.
I live near the beach in a nice area where I would like to stay, he lives 3 hours away in an ok area but his dad is terminally ill, and all his friends and family live there so were both adament we dont want to move and I understand his reasoning. Plus he wants to finish his degree and to do a masters and I know that I really cant be following him around and I need to live somewhere stable.
But he also wants to be as involved with the family as possible and his not happy that I can't stay with him at uni but also knows its the only option.
Neither of us want to do long distance as weve both tried before and it just never seems to work out.
So yea a bit of a predicament lol
Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 9:56 am
Hi all again, i can't believe how many of us are single and pregnant! Just goes to show much men are real low life's! We should try and meet up and have a good old session slagging off our useless ex partners, always makes me feel better to have a good natter and a cry!