feel i can't cope

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PinkFairy
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:19 am 
Post subject: feel i can't cope
hi

my baby is 3 months old, and all she seems to do all day is cry. cry, cry.

she has colic, so on gripewater which we changed frrom infocol which has helped.

dribbling a lot which makes me think she is teething so i have been giving her calpol when really bad.

i just feel i can't really cope with it all day when hubby at work, i feel teary, although i don't think i'm depressed i'm scared i might become depressed again.

does anyone else feel like this??
klair328
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:34 am 
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aw babe dont panic.your not the first and u wont be the last that feels like that.
have you not got a good friend or a relative you woulld trust to watch the baby for like an hour to give you some You time to wash your hair or have a bar of chocolate or even jst pop to the shops for a wee bit of a break.
my little one isn't due to xmas but iv already statrted thinking about how i don tthink i will be able to handle crying all the time. Im the youngest in my family other than my little cousins who i didnt need to spend 24/7 with so having a little person depend on me is sort of scarey even though i wanted it with all my heart i didn't think of it like that.

If your feeling teary then let it out.. speak to someone ... rather than bottling it all up or it will just get worse!

if you need to just talk to someone for a bit of relief then im always here if u wna tlk via emails/,sn/text/phone if you like:)

Im sure if you let them though your family will be desperate to have a wee shot of your i dont doubt ADORABLE daughter and give you some you time:)
i hope you feel better chick... sorry if im babling on but it will be ok dont worry:)
have some cyber hugs:) Smile xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Razz
klair xx
PinkFairy
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:40 am 
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thanks very much klair, its very kind of you.
hope all goes well do you know if its a boy or girl?

my mum has taken her when hubby and i have been out a few times but because she seems to be so unsettled and crying loads i feel bad someone else having to put up with her as sometime i can't settle her for ages.

she crys when she seems my MIL as she doesn't see her that often so worry baby will be even more unhappy that mummy or daddy aren't around, my mum works shifts but i do see her almost everyday even if just for 30mins - 1hr.

i'm 23 and baby was planned, but can't help but think maybe i am too young i do love her to bits but its so hard when your at home during the day and got to put up with the crying etc then hubby comes in and she is all smiles.

i do get out to shops etc, tried baby massage but she just cried so it put me off going to mother and baby groups as she will pro just cry.

i'm now scared to take her out anywhere in public ie cafe, resturant as she will just errupt.
Huntermac
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:41 am 
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Hi pinkfairy and yes i have been there too. My son has reflux and had colic and like you I had a crying baby in my arms many many hours of the day. I found a couple of things helped but I wish I had found them earlier!!
You may all ready be trying these, stop during feeds more often and keep them in that position while you massage the stomach, then sit up to burp with firm patting between the shoulders. This helps gather the bubbles together and bring them up.
Break the feeds up into smaller sessions, feeding smaller amount more frequently doesnt sound fun I know but wil help the gas get to the top.
Some colic bubs like to be on their tummys for naps, I know you may not be comfortable putting in the cot like that so during day I lay him on my chest, tummy down to let him sleep.
I know they only a couple of small suggestions but I found they made a difference. Hunter didnt start to show signs of getting better till he was around 4/5 months. Im so sorry you are dealing with this. I found I was crying as much as him, I lost my temper and yelled at him a couple of times because I couldnt cope with the crying then I would feel so bad I would put him in his bed and sit beside it sobbing for ages. I got sick to death of people saying "it would get better" and "it wasnt as bad as I thought it was" I felt so alone and I hated being a mother although I love him more than anything. I really feel for you, its such an awful thing to go though.
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PinkFairy
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 10:50 am 
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hi huntermac
sometimes the colic seems to be getting better now we have switched to gripewater. i try stopping during feed and she goes crazy crying for bottle back Laughing

yeah maybe sleeping on tummy would help, will try with her noon naps.

like another post i read all i seem to do during the day is either feed her, try and settle her or keep trying to amuse her by making faces etc

i do find myself getting very angry with her i would never hurt her but sometime feel i can be a bitrough when picking her up or like you say find myself shouting at her then i feel so bad but i just get so frustrated

hubby keeps saying you shoudl see the doc if your feeling like that but i don't as much feel depressed just teary and frustrated.

i keep waiting for it to get better like people say it will eventually blah blah hee hee
Huntermac
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:00 am 
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You should see a doctor, I know darn well I have PND because of trying to cope with it all. Its alot to deal with. Being teary is a good sign that you need more support. Have you asked about reflux to? Not all reflux babies spill, there is a "silent reflux' which means the acid comes up but not out the mouth but burns the throat and causes alot of pain. Ask about it, you cant loose anything by checking. You would be amazed at the difference medication will make. They will start with Gaviscon and move up from there. The first night he had his medication he slept for the whole night for the first time!!! That is when we found out his constant crying from reflux was causing his colic.
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klair328
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:07 am 
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im 19 wand have twins on the lmao... no i dont know the sexes ... kinda wnt a surprise lol even tho 2 is a big enough surprise.. might change my mind by the tie i go for a 4d scan...
maybe she crys coz she doesnt like you leavin her, but she will have to get used to mummy not being there EVERY time she crys or mummy will end up ill.
wen u leave wit ur mum or MIL try leaving a jumper of yours or a blanket that smells like you? it might help if she has something that smells familiar.. she's a baby so whoever volunteers to watch her for you will be prepared for crying so you shouldnt feel bad.
You prob feel bad and guilty for leavin her in the first place.. theres a sayin..im not sayin leave her for days on end lol but a few hours or even just one or two hours?
absence makes the heart grow stonger?
hmm tht sounded mean i think i didnt mean it to sound mean lol....
she knows ur her mum n had u wrapped hisd round her finger already lmao im gna be gubbed wen my monsters come along:P

i dnt have tips on how to calm you babba dwn jst things tht i tried with aiden ma little cuzin.... if he cryed..which he did alot... id sing or put a slow cd on or something soothing for him to listen to... or just tell him stories... or plonk him in front of the tv in vibrating bouncy chair. he loved it....

so back to the IN LAWS how about you sugest to your hubby tht lol your not gna like this.... i hated seeing or spending time with his family... but sugest one or two nights a week you go to theirs or they come to yours for dinner or even just a wee cuppa so that your little one can get used to their voices while your their too....
or even if you cant and the next time u drop her off their.... leave your jumper or something.. tht smells like you:)..something familiar to her?

aw babe as i sed im 19 and baby was planned.. NOT BABIES but i am thrilled about it:)... the now lol
i dnt imagine tht its a nice feeling havin your lil one cry with u all day and wen daddy comes home he gets all the smiles lol but on the same hand while daddys at work.. ur gettin to know her... you wil be the one tht prob sees her first walk, words, throwing a bowl of spagetti over her head at lunch time:P n i bet he wil envy u for that Smile

AS for mother n baby groups... yea ur little girl cries but so does the other babies.. maybe tht once or twice you went they were all drugged up on calpol by their mums lol coz they were feelin like you... if anything if you go to them for a little while...you get out the house which wil lstart to feel like a cage if u dont get out, you will meet other mums in your situation in ur area and give u some friend u can relate to and your little one will get to socialise as she gets bigger with the group.. meet friends... dont worry if she crys everyones been there... everyone knows the feeling you just want the ground to open and swallow you!!
dont get me started lmao i went to get a bus with my little cousin wen he was like 5 months old... and didnt relise it wud be such a mission.. i got him up bathed, fed in pram... dwn to bus stop... bus came..he had a hissy fit... managed to get him out..my friend held him for me.. then i couldnt work the blooming pra..didnt know how to get it dwn.. i was getin redder n redder n felt like cryin coz i felt like everyone was watching on the bus... and aiden was getin more grumpy... but then it was like a que of people to try helop me... the bus driver and most people on the bus got off to have a wack at tryin to fold this pram dwn.. was a such a nice feelin that total strangers tht looked mean n fed up wit me coz my little cousin was screemin the place dwn were actually making light of the situation n helped me get on the bus1!!!! so i got there at last lol... yea sorry another sidetracted story:P
so dont be embaressed if she crys!!!! they do that:) cry, sleep, eat,poop,be sick... bt then they smile and its all ok:).. newho i think im hogging your page so ill shhhh the now lol:)

have u gt msn?
PinkFairy
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:08 am 
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Huntermac wrote:
You should see a doctor, I know darn well I have PND because of trying to cope with it all. Its alot to deal with. Being teary is a good sign that you need more support. Have you asked about reflux to? Not all reflux babies spill, there is a "silent reflux' which means the acid comes up but not out the mouth but burns the throat and causes alot of pain. Ask about it, you cant loose anything by checking. You would be amazed at the difference medication will make. They will start with Gaviscon and move up from there. The first night he had his medication he slept for the whole night for the first time!!! That is when we found out his constant crying from reflux was causing his colic.


thts really interesting about reflux.

she did sleep through the night from 11-7am 2 nights in a row just as we thought she was starting to sleep all night, but now up again anything from 3,4,5,6

she is starting to bring her legs up in air and slamming them down on mattress which is the colic i think and this is waking her in the night, adding to the stress of broken night sleep for mum and dad.

i was on anti depressants when i was 16, now 23 i only feel teary if i'v had a bad day with her, which for the last few days seems to be everyday!!! i'm not sure if i'm depressed pos am when having a bad day but feel ok on weekends when hubby home
PinkFairy
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:18 am 
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gosh 2 on the way, you will be busy. twins run in my family history there are x2 sets of twins inmy mums family, so i escaped that one (hence at the moment i'm saying i'm having NO more!!) Laughing

your right in everything you say, i don't think your quite prepared for the baby coming along and how much things will change, my mum has offered to take her so i can go out for lunch with friends and i have a few nights out in june with and without hubby so will perk up once i get out and about and my mum is very patient with her which is good.

how long hve you to go?? yes def have a surprise its worth all the work to get a nice surprise at the end, how exciting having twins must be nice.

i try leaving her to cry so i'm not always running to her, but she gets in such a state and starts sweating !!! and she is socked sometimes she calms herself butother days she just keeps on going, i only leave her if i know she is fed changed and not in pain

poor you with the pram and your nephew Laughing i could only imagine
Huntermac
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 1:13 am 
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How exciting having twins!! The cry we are talking about isnt the kind where bubs wants to be with you, its a scream of pain where sometimes they are crying so hard no noise comes out of their mouth. Nothing you do makes them feel better and it can go on for hours. Its very hard to explain and if you havent heard it before it would be hard to imagine.

Hunter cryed for 15hr straight 1 day when he was around 6wks, that was one of the worst days in my life. He was so exhorsted he couldnt drink and the doc just said to let him sleep and not to worry about food. Colic and relfux are cruel. They become very strong babies from throwing themselves around and you sometimes find mum has scratches or bruises on their face from bubs fists and nails, I have been away from him for a total of 3hr since he was born because when he is having one of his painfull days all he wants is his mum, not even dad will do.

Thanks for your advice though, there are some babies who just want mum around and yes a jersey with your smell works great for them Very Happy Very best of luck with the twins, you are in for an exciting time!! I hope you post a pic of them when they a here Very Happy
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Huntermac
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:12 am 
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Sorry, 4got to say Klair was right on the nail about mums n bubs groups, Hunter always cries at our coffee group but they all know why and the mums take turns some days entertaining him while I have my lunch and coffee. I also had a mum in my group before she went back to work whose son was just like Hunter. We had a real good @#&** session together. May do you some good to track down someone whose in the same boat, you feel like a normal person for a few hours being with someone who understands. So good thinking Klair! Very Happy
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LauraG
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:19 am 
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my daughter suffered from colic. and infacol never worked for her.

i beelive in taking them out for a walk getting some fresh air for both you and the baby. babys are usually quiet when they are being pushed.
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PetraLou
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 3:49 pm 
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you know, you cam give them infacol before the feed, and gripe water afterwards?? i use both for my little one xx
PinkFairy
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:10 pm 
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thanks for all your replies.
i've been feeling a lot better over weekend, buba has improved quite a bit went to a bbq at weekend she napped for about 40 mins then awake for about 3 and was very happy.

it only now seems to be about 3-4am she is waking thrashing her legs up and down, strange its only thin time in early morning and not during the day.
Shaz1978
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:50 am 
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Wow,I could have wrote that post myself!!My daughter is 3 and half months old and seems like theres always something wrong with her!Trapped wind is the worst,she just screams as if i had hurt her,its so stressful and I often just cry with her cos I feel I cant cope either!!Its a natural reaction I think,Its all new to first time mothers,No1 just knows exactly what to do,I put her on Colief for Colic but all that did was give her terrible diarreoa,I have her on SMA hungrier milk and now shes having trouble pooing and is crying over that!!! I dont know should i change her to Milupa Aptimil extra or is it bad to be changing her food again,just seems shes always bringing up curdled milk and I feel the milk might not be agreeing with her???Does anyone have any thoughts on this??PS,Pinkfairy,we need to pray it gets better haha,im sure it will!! Smile Smile Smile
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