Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:13 pm
Post subject: Parenting styles - the continuum concept ...?
Was just wanting to know whether there's anybody using the continuum concept??? If so do you follow all principles??? What does EVERYBODY think about the continuum concept???
The five main principles of the continuum concept (by Jean Leidloff)
1) Breastfeeding exclusively and on demand for as long as possible
2) Co- sleeping so baby can sleep next to parents and feed whenever needed
3) Being carried around in a sling as much as possible and for as long as possible, particularly in the first few weeks
4) Allowing family and friends to help and spend time with the child where possible in order to form good communication skills and the ability to share and communicate well with others, aswell as the idea that it greatly helps trust, confidence. And ...
5) Allowing the child to learn from doing things themselves after having watched the peoplle around them do it
I myself love the idea of using the concept in my parenting and try to conform to the concept as much as possible. I breastfeed exclusively and on demand and will do for as long as i can but for no longer than 15 months or so. Co-sleep, hold the baby as much as is possible and use the sling where possible and i allow my family (large family) to take a large role in my daughters life.
I would love to know what people think, however if somebody doesn't agree with the co-sleeping its best not to comment as i don't want it to cause trouble xxxx
Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 1:59 pm
this is what i would have loved to do.
unfortunatly when lewis was just over 3 weeks i came down really ill for days and couldnt feed him. by the time i was well again my milk had gone completly
id love to have him co-sleeping with me but OH wont allow it. best i get is when y oh leaves for work i bring lewis in bed with me till he wants his feed around 9am.
these are the two things that stopped me doing this and it really gets me dwn at times sometimes i feel like ive failed at BF
but i agree with this and think its a brilliant way to bond x x x
Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 2:21 pm
I co-slept with my daughter (not intentionally, but I had a homebirth and midwife put her in bed with me, and that's where she stayed lol), and used a sling alot, and loved it. I breast fed for the first 3 months or so but struggled. I'm pregnant again now and really hope that I can get the hang of breastfeeding properly this time so that I enjoy it.x
Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:33 pm
Amy - thats a shame and i can understand how you must feel, i hate that i failed at the planned home birth and when i had to feed the baby formula for 2 days when i was on medication, there's nothing wrong with it of course but just bothered me with having stuck to breastfeeding, however i now use it sometimes if i need to or decide to go out last minute and haven't had time to express ... you've done really well though don't feel bad. He's gorgeous so don't worry and i'm envious of you post=pregnancy belly There's always next time xxxx
Moonhare - it does happen that way alot but its something alot don't agree with i didn't plan on it either but it just happened, i was going to stand by the other principles of the concept though as i think it's a great way to bring them up .. brilliant for bonding xxxx
Thank-you both for the replies, i love to know what people think and what others are doing xxxx
Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:34 pm
I personally only agree with doing half of it, so i chose to go for no! I personally don't agree with numbers 2 & 3 and never did either with Ellie, i cant really comment too much on the breastfeeding thing as I was physically unable to do it properly with Ellie, but plan to this time. Although I will say that I have had the most amazing bond with her since the day she was born (and thru pg really), we are now so close & have a fantastic relationship. I just think each to their own & if you believe this is or isn't the right way for you to parent your child who is anyone else to argue
Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:39 pm
Thats perfectly fine, everybody has different views life would be boring if we didn't. I think you can get the best bond from just talking alot to your baby, i talk so much to India, we both do and she's the happiest baby i've ever seen i hope the breastfeeding works out this time xxxx
Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:04 pm
i don't fully agree with it.
breastfeeding didn't suit me(my milk never came in poperly anyways) as i had to go back to uni the week after her birth so it wasn't even much of an option.
i have nothing against co-sleeping but it isn't for me, i am a pretty heavy sleeper and always scared i would squash her...i think it is also good for her to have her own space(again, i see nothing wrong with other's choices!)
i carried lily-ann in a sling alot when out but she never was a clingy baby and actually preferred not being carried about, don't see the point insisting on a sling if it's not cmfortable for her
i have a big family and let them be very involved, she's happy with being with anyone i pass her too which i think is good as she is very confident and outgoing now because of it
i agree with the last also, it's good to give them the freedom to try to do new things for themselves and encourage them if they fail first time
Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:39 pm
That's great, i have to admit my daughter is very clingy with me, think its partly to do with the breastfeeding but i don't really mind don't worry there's gonna be no issue over co-sleeping haha ...
I don't use the sling as much as i could as it can get abit tiring haha but i have to say she's rarely put down xxxx
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:40 pm
It sounds like a nice theory but like any other theory put forward has bits i dont agree with. For example:
Number 1 - i would have loved to bf but found it too hard and beat myself up over it for 2 weeks and was getting very low in mood before finally deciding not to do it. She has had expressed milk for four weeks nearly now and will go to bottle next week. So in principle yes i agree with this but not to the exclusion of parents who cant or dont want to do it and choose instead to bottle feed and are made to feel bad for it - I am not suggesting for one moment anyone here does this simply stating that a common theme amongst threads here is 'I feel I have failed I can't bf'. So in principle yes to item one but i always give a big heads up to ppl who bottlefeed as i firmly believe feeding issues aside the most important thing you can give a child is your love. As for as long as possible - if i had continued to bf i may have done it til weaning but not beyond - i dont agree with bfing for nig strapping toddlers etc like you see on documentaries when they are about 25 and still bfing! Please take this comment with the levity it is intended in but when a kid can undo your shirt and bra themselves to get to the milk they probably dont need it anymore!!! So yes to point 1 with addendums
Point 2 is a no for me as I dont agree with co-sleeping so will leave that one alone
Point 3 is also a no for me. My LO has cuddles whenever she needs it but i am not putting my back at risk spending the whole day lugging her about in a sling. PLus as much as i adore being a mummy and am besotted with my beautiful little girl even I need 5 mins to myself sometimes and when she is settled and having a lovely peaceful nap in her moses basket i enjoy 5 mins on here as me time. I may be a mummy but i am still me. That said if she wakes up and needs me i am always there - which i suppose is the main thrust of point 3
Point 4 - totally and utterly agree with this
Point 5 - again i agree with this as long as its in a safe, well observed environment.
I guess what im getting at is that theories of parenting are great but there are about a million of them and sometimes i think you have to take what works from them for you and discard what doesnt - as Bruce Lee did with martial arts