Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:28 pm
Post subject: How can I relax
My husband and I have been trying for 6 months to get pregnant with no positive result. It is getting me down. I go from getting over the dissapoinment of having a period to becoming all excited leading up to my fertile day and then getting ready for my period again. Any little flutter movement anything to try and convince myself this month will be the lucky one. I do try and talk with family and friends but all say the same thing stop thinking about it and it will happen. All right for them as most have had their own children. My period started today so feeling quiet low. I feel for my husband as he gets forgotten. Is anyone else going through this or have and now pregnanat who can offer me some advice. I would love to know how to stop thinking about it. We have tried a fertility monitor but have had to put this away as was relying on this and only having sex when it told us to.[
Last edited by tinkerbelle on Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:03 pm; edited 5 times in total
Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:59 am
Hi there, im not saying this to worry more as encouragement; my OH and I tried for 13yr to get preg and i finally did when we had given up all hope of it happening, after being told we couldnt have kids!! We just started having a normal sex life, whenever the mood took us type thing. Would it help you to know that your body actually encourages you to have sex at the right time if you dont think about it?? When you are relaxed, your repoductive hormones kick in around ovulating time and that when you start to want a bit of action Worrying about it actually decreases your sex drive and you dont hear your body saying ITS TIME, DO IT DO IT!!! I wish I had known that a few years ago!! I might have calmed down and just enjoyed the moment.
Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:56 am
Hi there, I know exactly how you feel tinkerbelle....me and dh have now been trying for 9 months and i've pretty much decided to give up for a while....i want kids desperately but i have a life to lead and if i don't enjoy my life now i may regret it later on.
Huntermac tells a very true story too....a friend of mine has had 2 of her best mates go through ivf and fail each time, and when they gave up all hope and decided to get on with their lives each one fell pg.
I guess there is definitely hope for all of us, but we have to let not only our hearts, but our minds and bodies be ready rather than trying to force them.....easier said than done at times i know.
We'll get there
Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:46 pm
Post subject: How can I relax
Thanks so much for your support. I am a bit of a control freak and this is something totally out of my control. We have decided not to count days for a while and not use the fertility monitor to give us a break. We bread our dog a few weeks ago and she has 3 weeks left so we'll be busy with her and her pups for a while so we are going to have a break. It is so comforting hearing from people having the same difficulties but in a nice way please . Hic73 let me know how you get on and good luck. x
Last edited by tinkerbelle on Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:49 pm; edited 2 times in total
Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:52 pm
I've decided to put my fertility monitor away today. I just feel like i'm getting completely obsessed, and its all i really think about. This is our 10th month of trying, so am gonna try and forget about it for a few months and then go to gp if nothing has happened. I've been going for reflexology which is very relaxing.
I just wish this whole ttc wasn't so difficult!
Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:08 pm
I've been having reflexology as well its lovely. It is so hard not to get obsessed. When my friends say it will happen, I just think shut up its all right for you you all fell on your 1st try. Yeah we're having a break at the moment as it takes over your life. Good Luck with it all its so nice to have other people going through the same to chat to.
Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:59 pm
Tinkerbelle, My husband and i have also been TTC for 6 months too. I know exactly how you feel and i have been feeling exactly as you do i have been getting so impatient and worry all the time that something is wrong with me.
I have now turned over a new leaf as i'm getting fed up with myself! Although i am still concious of the fact whether am i or aren't i each month, i have stopped obsessing and trying my hardest to just let things happen. I am not going to buy any more Preg tests (sometimes i get so impatient i test before my AF) my husband and i will still continue to dance more-so during my ovulation time but we are both just trying not to think about it too much. (it is so hard, i know)
Thankfully we will be going on holiday for 2weeks in a few weeks time so that is taking my mind off the whole baby whirlwind! Hopefully something will happen whilst we are away relaxing in the sun!!
Please don't feel too upset my dear you are not alone and if you feel [*@!#%*] just moan to us on this forum that's what we are here for!!
Baby dust xx
Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:32 pm
Don't worry, you're not alone!
Been TTC for 7 months. Life has just passed me by, which of cuorse makes me feel worse when my period comes around.
I've started to be more aware of trying to be nice to myself! It sounds a little odd I know!
I've been having reflexology, which has bee really reassuring (it's amazing what they can tell you!)
Find time to laugh and enjoy yourself....I know it's s hard!
We'll get there in the end!
Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 10:12 am
I know exactly how you feel! I'm in the same boat. It's extremely disappointing and frustrating every time and the problem is you can't do anything about it. Just like many others are saying, I'm thinking of giving up the ovulation kits etc for a while and just forget about it... maybe that is the solution? Worth a try perhaps... Best of luck x
Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 7:25 am
I am in the same boat as all of you. I got 5 days until AF due and think i will get it. So i will be on month 6 of trying next month. It really does get you down after all the BFN's but DB and I have decided to have a 'break' from trying so hard & to just relax and have some fun.
We are still not going to use any protection, but the difference between having our break now(if i get BFN again!) the all the previous months we have been trying is that we are not going to BD on demand, just do it when we want to, not get any preg tests, not chart or anything. I will still keep (in my head) what day i am on (so i know when i am due AF).
I hope we all get our much wanted BFP, i know it is really frustrating as i am in the same boat as you all, but hope fully (fingers crossed) it all happens for us really soon.
Good Luck to everyone - send lots of Baby Dust your way (& mine too!) ****************
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:46 pm
Post subject: Ectopic & Fertility problems
Just wanted to let you all know you are not alone. Me & my hubby tried for 8 months for our first pregnancy while at the same time, 10 friends and family were falling pregnant at the drop of a hat Sadly we lost this baby due to a ruptured ectopic. I had emerg surgery to have the right tube removed and the dr's told me I was extremely lucky to survive (i didn't feel lucky!!)
It took another 2 yrs to fall pregnant again (took Clomid). I knew it would take us longer to conceive this time due to only having 1 tube. Didn't expect it to be that long though. Unfortnately I was diagnosed with a second ectopic 3 weeks ago and have been given Methotrexate to 'dissolve' the pregnancy.
I know how hard it is to put it all out of your mind. Knowing I'd failed again each month was driving me crazy. It's not that easy to just turn off your emotions and well meaning friends and family just don't understand it isn't that simple.
My advise to you all is to focus on other things. Me & my hubby have been on several holidays, sporting events and concerts. It's great to have something to look forward to for a change. Now we've got lots of adventures to tell our future children!
I wish you all the best of luck with your future pregnancies and please be reassured that the average conceiving time is 18months to 2yrs. The chances that you are all completely normal is high so have fun and lots of mind blowing sex (both having an orgasm at the same time helps, enjoy!)
Love Lou x Sorry it's so long!
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 4:09 am
Hi Tinkerbelle, I know how you are feeling. I do not ovulate and had to be put on birth control for a few months to regulate. I have an af while on the pill but once I got off I could be 2 years without an af. So finally I decided to go to and infertility doctor. They prescribed some injections to stimulate my ovaries and I got pregnant on my second month of treatment. I am now ttc again and I have gone through one month. I think I was too focused on just getting pregnant that it didn't happen. My infirtility doctor told me to have sex for a whole week which was getting tiring. I think that is what caused me to not get pregnant. I am having to go through treatment this month again and we are hoping it works. The best thing to do is to stop thinking about it and just have sex when you are in the mood and it will eventually happen. If you can't get pregnant within the next few months then just visit a doctor and they will tell you what will help you to concieve.
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:01 pm
Hi i know how you all feel aswell i have been trying to conceive for about four years now ive had two failed ivf's and one natural pregnance which ended in a miscarriage so im really stressed with the whole thing, im just about to start my third ivf in september and i just keep thinking to myself i have to stay relaxed through it this time but its really hard. My brother inlaws 16 year old girlfriend is just about to have a baby in 12 weeks so thats making it even worse for me at the minute, ( sorry for moaning) baby dust to you all x
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:10 pm
Moan away! God knows I've moaned enough over the past few years!!!!!! You have had a really hard time and I can only symapthise with you.
I also know how tough it is having to deal with other people pregnancies. A lesbian couple I know have just had a baby, and while I don't begrudge them happiness, whatever happened to the law of Biology? I've got sperm on tap for goodness sake
My sister in law is also pregnant, due in October. She is 5yrs younger than me and her life is just falling into place. I'm happy for her but it still hurts and I'm dreading the first meeting after the birth. I love babies but I can't cope with the mothers telling me all the details of the birth, I want my own experience, not theirs!!
I'm a big believer in getting things of your chest and luckily I have a very understanding sister who I whinge at all the time.
I wish you every bit of luck for your next IVF treatment. You deserve a break.
Love Boola x