Just want to say...(( Collection Of Poems ))

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MrsSpringer
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Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 9:21 am 
Post subject: Just want to say...(( Collection Of Poems ))
I firstly want to say to poeple who are reading this and who have experiences loss how sorry i am to hear it.
Ive had now 3 miscarriages - so i know a little of what you maybe going through.

Everyone IS different and everyone copes with loss differently, however i did think it helped to read poems, i even wrote a couple - and it helped to cry.

When you have lost a child through miscarriage you are grieving for the life that never was, the cuddle you will never get and the smile you'll never witness - Understandably it is hard to get to grips with all this.

Here i have compilled a little collection of loss poems - the first one is what i wrote for my angel / angels.

Here is my first miscarriage story:
In may 2005 I miscarried my angel.
The pregnancy had not been confirmed - only by home pregnancy tests and of corse i saw what i saw, it was an angel.

This is my story:
Id done 2-3 home pregnancy tests to be sure, made an appointment to get it confirmed - The docs appointment was 9th May.

We Were in Wales at Deans parents.
They took us out for a meal where we had a lovely sunday roast. In the middle of this dinner i started to have severe cramp pains in my stomach.
After id finished the meal i went to the toilet, and unfortunatly heard a large drop into the bowl and there i saw my dear sweet little angel.

I didnt want to go out, telling Dean for his mother to come in and see our angel, that would have been wrong, but i know she would have insisted on getting a looking.
At the time i was in shock of what id just seen and without much thinking i just flushed the angel away.
This haunts me to this day - ive done alot of readin up on miscarriages and found out that some people do keep their little ones with them, eg. put them in a box, seal it up and keep them in a safe place.

After id finished i went and told Dean what had happened, he gave me a hug and a kiss and the rest of the day seemed like a haze.
I wasnt interested, listening nor did i care what the parents in law had to say in General. (we didnt tell them)

---------------------

I wrote this poem for my angel / angels

This is to my dear sweet little angel
of whom was so creully taken away from me,
I shall miss you for always
and wonder what would have become
in this world i will never know

But when comes that day
when we will be reunited
and all ill have to say
is WOW i have missed you

you will always be in my dreams
and my thoughts too
for that day when you passed on
will live with me too

There isnt a single word
that can explain
my feelings of dispare

when i look at the stars in the sky
i know you are shining down on me
with a light so bright it lights my heart up
knowing thats you, thats my little angel
right there in heaven.

My darling i shall love you forever more, and will never forget and never stop wondering what life would be like now with you.
This pain is still as strong as when i lost you, but i know that we shall meet one day, when its time and when i do find you im never going to let go of you, i shall cuddle you forever more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
x lots of love x
x mummy x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sending you lots of christmas hugs and wishes, xx

-----------------------

Others that i have found comforting..

Whenever you are feeling sad
Or kind of ďbaby blueĒ
Remember that youíre not alone
Iíll always be with you
Although I know it makes you sad
That I had to depart
As long as there is love
IĎll be living in your heart

Whenever you remember me
With happiness and love
The angels sing me lullabyes
In heaven and above
And though you cannot hold me
Or brush and comb my hair,
Do not doubt for a minute
That I am still right there.

For I am with you always,
In the shadows of your mind,
And if you look around you
Itís me that you will find
Iím the one that pulls your heartstrings
When you here a baby cry,
Iím the one that lifts your spirits
On wings of a butterfly

Iím the one who blows you kisses
On a warm summer breeze
Iím the who whispers in your ears
In the sighing of the trees
Itís me that you hear laughing
In a bubbly mountain brook
Yes,I am all around you
Wherever you may look

_____________________________________________________________

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand;
And said my place was ready, in heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For my life had not long started, and I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much to learn and do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the times to come, the good one's and the bad,
I thought of all the love we'd share, it made me feel so sad.
If I could spend just one day, or even a little while,
I'd tell you how I love you, and I'd show you my big smile.
But then I fully realised, that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me, upon his golden throne.
"This is eternity he said, and all I've promised you,
Today for life on earth is passed, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.
My child you was to special, I had to set you free,
So won't you take my loving hand, and share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me, mummy don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.
_________________

This is one of my favourites:
How do I say goodbye ... when I didn't get to say hello?
I want so bad to keep you ... how do I let you go?
I have so many dreams, so much love I want to share
There's nothing I can do ...why is life unfair?
You're my perfect angel...I dreamed you long ago
I never got to hold you but it breaks my heart to let you go
The pain and confusion I feel inside
I can not explain...I can not describe
God will rock you in your cradle and watch you as you sleep
I will love you in my heart ... it's all I get to keep
you are blessed my child ... you're in heaven up above
You'll never be alone...you have Mommy & Daddy's love
Hush my little baby...you need not ever cry
You were always wanted! I wish you didn't die
You'll be my sunshine in the daylight and the brightest star at night
Reach for God's hand and go to the light
I would rather endure the pain of losing you right now
Then the thought of you suffering thru life...we'll get thru somehow
I was blessed to have you briefly...even though I have to let you go
I wish I knew the reason but I guess I'll never know
-------------------------

Don't let them say I wasn't born
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold
It doesn't mean I'm gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear it was"meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes",
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
Another child you'll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An Angel Never Dies.


Though I was not fully grown, my heart was weak,
But my soul was strong,
And though you'll never know my face,
You can rest assured this is a special place.
So when you're angry, sad or low,
Just think of me and your love will grow,
For babies like us are special and rare.
But God will give us the best of care.

I tried so hard to be so strong.
The journey was tiring and very long.
So I closed my eyes and said a prayer,
Please God keep them in your care.
So don't be bitter, don't be sad.
Don't blame yourselves and don't go mad.
Just close your eyes and think of me,
For I will love you for eternity.

So when you're sad and thinking of me,
Whether doing the housework,
Or cooking the tea.
Just go outside and look above,
For in the sky is a heaven full of love.
Look far away to the brightest star.
I will be standing before you with arms open wide.
So don't be scared and don't be sad.
I'll be looking down at you,
"My Mum and Dad".
--------------
What Makes a Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
when your baby is not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
with confidence in his voice
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
and others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
but there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared his throat,
and then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
with all the other children and sayÖ

"We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
but I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow's were I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear.
ĎMommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'"

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
and this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
until your lesson's through.
and on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gate for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
it's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start

Though some on Earth may not realise,
you are a Mother
until their time is done.
they'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

----------

if tears could build a stairway
and memories a lane
id walk straight up to heaven
and bring you home again













I hope in some small way that reading these poems have helped you - Im always here for everyone, so if you wish to talk to me, feel free to PM me for help / advice, i have been there unfortunatly 3 times and can offer help and support where it may be needed.

You dont have to go through this alone, there are many people out there, organisations also that can help you through this difficult time.

Hugs for everyone xx
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dawnb
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:19 am 
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my oh my..... that has to be the most buetiful amount of words on one page ever, although by the time i got to the bottom i was crying so much i had trouble reading it!
i lost a baby through an ectopic last year so the poems really touched me. thanks you so much for sharing them with us.
xx
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MrsSpringer
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:23 am 
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Thank you Dawn, there are more poems out there - but these are the ones i published on my website and miscarriage page as they were the ones i liked the best etc..

Im sorry to hear of your eptopic Dawn - HUGS 2 u xx
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sarah23
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:25 pm 
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Mrs Springer - thank you so much for those poems - I'm at work reading them and literally welling up - had to get up and leave because they touched me so much. I had a missed miscarriage in January and have found it very hard especially as it was so early on - what I find hardest is that people think because it was so early, it doesn't hurt as much or that the baby wasn't a proper baby at that stage - these poems just summarise everything I feel and I think of the baby everyday and never will forget.
I think these will give comfort to a lot of people although it is very upsetting to read them - it makes you feel normal for feeling the way you do.
Thanks again,
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
MrsSpringer
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:32 pm 
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Thank you hun - Im sorry to hear that you too have gone through the pain we feel on this board.
Loosing a child is heartbreaking when ever it happens, where ever it happens, whether it be a miscarriage at 5 weeks pregnant, a still birth or indeed when the child is grown up. My husbands mum and dad recently burried their 46 year old daughter who left 2 boys behind aged 13 and 15 years old - loosing a child when ever is heart breaking, no matter how, why or when.

But as ive said - miscarriages you grief for what will never be, like the smile you'll never see, the cuddle you'll never get - an empty-ness feeling aches your body and your arms, you cant focus on things becuase your left wondering, what if this and what if that - and constantly think about what will never be and what you will never see etc..

These poems as upsetting as they are to read - i too am sure that people will relate to them, and like you said remember that they are normal, crying is a natural part of the greiving process - how ever recent.

(( xx hugs and kisses xx ))
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sarah23
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:49 pm 
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You've just summarised everything I feel - it's just a reminder or where i'd be in the pregnancy now and what my child would have been like, not being able to cuddle it. It's heartbreaking and I just want to be pregnant again. My EDD was 31st July 2008 so similar to yours. I hope you are okay and thank you for being so supportive. xxxx
MrsSpringer
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:20 pm 
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Bless you hun, i just wish i could do something more than open my big fat trap to help (lol) I wish i could make things better, and stop the hurt and i do feel helpless as i want to help people who like me have gone through simular experiences.
I am fine thank you for asking - it must be so difficult for you to be here talking to women due around the time you would of been etc..
I felt so aweful as the first miscarriage i had - i only realised it was my due date later on in the afternoon - then on the due date - first birthday i didnt even remember until 8 days past, i cried for days so upset id missed special dates etc.. but then remembered that it was due to family commitments, i.e looking after my child i already had - and was told it was a 'good' thing as aparently id already got over it - how that person could of told me such lies i dont know, the truth is you will never get over such things, the pain eases yes - but never will you be 'over it' Never!

xx
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sarah23
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:42 pm 
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Awww well I really admire you for being so strong and trying to help people who have gone through what you have. You seem like a lovely person and I hope that you have a very happy future. Are you ttc at the moment? xxxxxx
MrsSpringer
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:44 pm 
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sarah23 wrote:
Awww well I really admire you for being so strong and trying to help people who have gone through what you have. You seem like a lovely person and I hope that you have a very happy future. Are you ttc at the moment? xxxxxx


No, hun 35+1 preggo and thanks, i do try to help where i can Smile xx
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sarah23
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:00 pm 
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Oh hun so you're actually due next month?! That's great - congratulations! Well best of luck with the birth and I wish you all the luck and happiness for the future. Take Care. xxxx
Fishy
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:48 pm 
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I don't think I have ever read anything that has touched me as much as this has - Im having difficulties typing this cause I can not see cause of the tears rolling down my face - just when you think your 'over' the loss you realise you never will be Crying or Very sad

I miss my baby so much and some days it really hard to get through it - it does make it better to know that people understand what it's likt to be in the position.

Thank you Mrs S for those words

xx
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:53 pm 
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I dont think you ever forget fishy because they are always in our hearts. Pupx
Shell444
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:14 pm 
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Ive just had it confirmed today that ive miscarried.

Thankyou for the poems... i cried so hard but they have comforted me a little.

Thankyou

Shell
x
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:00 pm 
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Thank you for the lovely poems. I wish I had been able to read something beautiful like that at my baby's funeral. They just sum up everything I feel. How we all get through these times I never know - its is a triumph to the human spirit that we go on to breathe another day. Miss you Harry, now and always, all my love mummy x
MrsSpringer
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:41 pm 
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Hugs to all xxx

((i cant say its nice to see this part of the forum; but i am glad that people who have suffered loss can come to this part of the group and express feelings, thoughts and survival tips ))
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