Pregnant & stressed!!

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Theo1
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Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 8:12 pm 
Post subject: Pregnant & stressed!!
Hi
I have recently found out i am 9 weeks,pregnant due 4th Jan. I am 37 & this is my first baby it has been a very big shock to me & my husband as he has a 22yr old & a 20yr old and having babies was not part of our future. Whilst i have started getting excited about this new chapter in our lives he is still horrified by it and can not see how we can make this work!!! We normally have a couple of holidays a year & do a lot as a couple he believes a baby is going to ruin our relationship & says he will end up resenting us both!!! Due to this i have found the last couple of weeks very stressfull & upsetting & just wonder if anyone has any experience of this? Will he come round when the baby is born? we have been together for 8 yrs & married for 3, i used to think we would be together forever but all he is thinking about is himself & what it all means to him. I never thought i was going to be a mummy and now I have a chance I an not letting it go !!!
BecksAndAlatheia
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:39 am 
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hi Theo, i haven't been in your position but just wanted to say i hope things work out. sounds like you both need a good chat when the shock has worn off. keep strong and i am so pleased to hear that you want to keep hold of oyur baby! i'm very excited for you getting this unexpected chance to be a mummy Very Happy
me and my oh are just about to start ttc, i think he is still a little concerned about the impact a baby will have on our lives, when we do something i keep saying to him "we can still do this with a baby" (i'm a bit of a nag!) you might need to get your head straight and focused on the future first to be able to talk to him.
but like i say, i don't know cos i have'nt been in your shoes so my words may be of no help at all! Embarassed x
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katvonb
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:17 pm 
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hiya first of all congratulations on your pregnancy.. Your oh may just need time to get over the shock of an unplanned pregnancy, my oh did the first time round he was horrified and wanted me to have a termination which i refused and now were happily expecting our fourth.. I dont really know what to suggest other than give him a little time to get used to the idea of being a daddy again xxx
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Hana22
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:03 pm 
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Hi theo1

I cant imagine how you must be feeling, but good on you for holding on to this chance. I had a simular sort of thing but it was my OH that desperaly wanted a baby and i just wasnt ready with me just starting a new job, i had so many plans and places i wanted to go and he was very upset as a family is all he ever wants it did cause a lot of arguements and i was sure it would break us up, in time i realised that that was important to me to and i wanted to share my plans and holidays around the world with people who i love.
my OH was patient with me tho and now we are expecting our first and we are so happy, yes things are not exactly perfect but when would they be??!!! i do think he will come round!! hold tight chick xxxxxxx
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Theo1
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:23 pm 
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Thanks Guys, it helps having all your support. I'll let you know how it goes xx
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toxicmummy
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:24 pm 
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What a tough time for you at the moment - but take heart: we're on no 3, all planned, and my DH has got cold feet each time a few weeks in. He starts being all stand-offish, saying it was 'all my idea', how are we gonna manage etc etc. After a while - usually when I've started showing - he gets over it. I can imagine your OH probably has slightly different feelings cos of his older 2, but in my experience there's always that time they need to get used to the idea.
Hope it passes for you and he doesn't give you too much of a hard time first!
Men!!! Confused
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toxicmummy
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:25 pm 
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What a tough time for you at the moment - but take heart: we're on no 3, all planned, and my DH has got cold feet each time a few weeks in. He starts being all stand-offish, saying it was 'all my idea', how are we gonna manage etc etc. After a while - usually when I've started showing - he gets over it. I can imagine your OH probably has slightly different feelings cos of his older 2, but in my experience there's always that time they need to get used to the idea.
Hope it passes for you and he doesn't give you too much of a hard time first!
Men!!! Confused
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toxicmummy
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:25 pm 
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Sorry - dunno why that posted twice!
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