Dealing with loosing my baby..

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melliissa
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 8:11 pm 
Post subject: Dealing with loosing my baby..
I had a misscarrige 2 weeks ago and i still cant move on, i feel so low, i dont have any body to talk to about it. the only person that knew i was pregnant was my bf. (we hadnt told anyone else yet, as i was only 6 weeks.) it feels like my bf dont really care and that he doesnt think that its a big deal and expects me 2 move on. im really hurting inside.
Sad sorry to go on but it helps to get it out.
how long do i have to wait untill i can start trying again for another baby? do i have to wait untill i have my next period, or can i start trying straight away?
xx
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 8:18 pm 
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Hi melliissa. Im so sorry for you loss. Its still early days. I remember 2 wks after my EP loss in March was very raw. If you need to talk we are here. I felt that after my loss I needed to be close to my DH and start trying again, not to replace but just needed to. After EP you are told to wait 3 months or 2 cycles, which we sort of did. I would say after m/c its best to wait till after first AF which could be as normal cycle or up to 6 wks but that completely you choice if you feel emotionally and physically up to trying again. You know your body the best. Take care my dear, just remember its not your fault and you will feel better in the future but of course will never forget your Angel baby. {{Big Hug}}. Stay with us and hopefully you will feel ready to move on in the near future. Take care. Clairex
pips1
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:05 am 
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Hi Melissa, so sorry for your loss. I too have lost a couple of babies now - one at early stages like you, and I know I felt it far more acutely than my dh. He felt that it wasnt meant to be and found it easy to move on, but it happened in sept 06 and I had a few drinks at the christmas party that year (i.e. 3 months later) and was in floods of tears over it again. So it does take a while to move on. Just for the record, my periods have always been delayed after a loss, so don't be surprised if yours are. Mine were actually 3 months later after m/c and 6 months later after stillbirth! But as I am told, stress can also delay them so just give yourself some time now.
Sometimes it is hard for our partners to see us so upset and I think that can contribute to them wanting to put it quickly behind them, so they can see us better again. But of course it is often more acute for us, because that little baby was in our tummy, and was part of us.
You will never forget sweetie, but you will move on again in time. It is so early and two weeks is nothing - I lost a baby august 08 as well and I still haven't truely moved on, so don't expect too much too soon.
If you ever need to chat though, the ladies here are great and will give you tons of support - and there are people that you can go to see or helplines if you are still struggling over the next few weeks and months.
Sorry, it has been a long message, but am nearly finished now - just allow yourself to cry and mourn - but don't be scared to enjoy life too - and your time will come again.
Take care Pipsx
sd77
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 3:40 pm 
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I too had a miscarriage, mine was at 12 weeks, just when you think you ca relax a little. I always felt my husband was not really bothered and that he got over it very quickly, it really hurt me to think he didn't care. Later when I could talk to him more about it he told me he was very upset but had to be strong for me, he was trying to be supportive and also hiding his own feelings. We waited about 2 years to try again, I was just too worried, we already had 1 daughter so in some was felt lucky. Lily was born in 2006 after a straight forward pregnancy, I'm glad we tried again but nothing will ever take away the loss I still feel for our other baby. You will know when the time is right, good luck. xx
andrea222
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:04 am 
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just to say reading these posts are helping me i lost my much wanted baby last week finding life so so hard reading other peoples experiences is helping a little..xx
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:58 am 
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Glad you felt you could join us and as I said in Pm, Im so sorry for you loss. Pupx
sadie1
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:45 pm 
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hi there im sorry 2 hear about your loss. i no how u feel cuz i to have just lost a baby i was 7 wks gone and it was the hardist thing ever 2 deal with wen i went for my scan and they told me my baby was gone. i still aint cried yet i dont dre incase i dont stop i wish i can find tym to grive but lookin after 3 other kids aint easy i keep thinkin of wat the baby would of looked like cuz it would of bein my first baby with my new bf once again im sorry but i sure it will get easyer well i hope at least xx
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:32 pm 
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Hi sadie i just wanted to say im so sorry for you loss. I know its hard but try and give yourself time to grieve. I to have children and I found it very difficult when I loss my baby to ectopic at 6+ wks in March. Time will help, you will never forget and often wonder i still do. But you do get stronger. I hope you can feel like you would like to try again sometime. Not to replace but carry on. {{Big Hugs}} . Clairex
phoenix81
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:37 pm 
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Hi

I had a m/c in march at 6weeks I know its hard sorry for your loss it truly is heartbreaking and so hard to deal with it sort of feels like your world stops and everyone just carries on living around you.

You can try again as soon as you feel ready I waited two months before I tried again as I needed time to get my mind around my loss.

good luck xx.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:44 pm 
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I was the same katie since my loss in March I waited till after 2nd AF, and look whats happened for you.!!!! Take care. Pupx
fitesa
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:38 am 
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Hi melissa,

I have nothing to share from my experience.. just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss..
Hopefully very soon you will be pregnant full time and have a healthy beautiful baby..

*hugs*
kayleighcake
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:15 am 
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hiya mel.. i lost a baby a xmas i was 7 weeks gone.. i can totally understand how u feel its still hurts now but it does get easier...
th hardest thing is feeling like u cant mourn beacause ppl dont see that u are mourning.... they say that u should wait till ur af has been and gone before ttc plus that little wait gives u time to come to terms with yor loss
itss been 7 months for me now and it has got easier...
at the time it happened i thought that was it i thougt my life had ended but i managed to get out of that rut..
started a new job and that helped alot x
at the time i felt like my fiance didnt care and couldnt understand why he didnt cry all the time like i was but u have to understand that men have there own way of handling things like that an that ur emetions are still so raw from being pregnant that ur still all over the place (well i was anyway)
i still think about it everyday but th pain isnt that bad now x even though i would have been due very soon x

(im here if u need to talk dont feel like ur on ur own babe x x


keep ur spirits up babe... hope you start feeling urself again soon x babydust x x
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