IVF failed this cycle despite low mood still fighting

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Milz
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:36 pm 
Post subject: IVF failed this cycle despite low mood still fighting
Hi all

I just would like to say to all the brave ladies who are going through various fertility treatment to hold on to your dreams and to continue your journey untill you achieve your goal. IT WILL BE WORTH IT! Smile

I'm 30 years of age, been married for 3 years and have been trying to concieve for the same amount of time. I started my IVF (antagonist) on the 7th of June 2009, I'm being treated at the IVF Hammersmith hospital LONDON.

I experienced a rotten day today Crying or Very sad , I went for my day 13 scan and was told that my follicles have shrunk. When I had my day 11 scan a few 16mm along with other various sized folicles were recorded, today however my follicle size was recorded at 15mm. The size requied by them is 17mm, I was close but not close enough. I felt numb when the doctor was explaining everything and tears was flowing when she said my cycle needs to be cancelled. Crying or Very sad

I'm from Camden, LONDON and my PCT are only paying for two cycles. I got one more shot via PCT, after that savings from DH and mine would come to use. If worst comes to worst we are considering adoption. Smile

To be honest although I sound and look brave after todays incident, I'm experiencing mixed emotions as though I lost someone dear Crying or Very sad . I feel very AWFULL to come to this stage and be knocked off with that blow. Totally shattered, but hey I got to hold on to my hope of being a mother one day.

I'm sorry,, I rumbled on for long and may not have made any sense. I hope you all understand the confusion and frustration I'm experiencing.

Mili
MrsE27
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:20 am 
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Hi Mili

I havent been on here much lately and really feel your pain. I am in a similar position to you. Im 29m been with dh for 8 years, only triyng for 2 years since we got married.

We started our first icsi cycle in may/june but last week had to abandon our cycle as I had not stimulated enough follicles to continue (only 4). We are devastated too. I feel desperately heart broken and feel that hope is slipping away. We thought our reasons for not concieving were due to dh sperm and now are worried that there is something wrong with me although I have had tests showing that I ovulate.

I had prepared myself that the icsi treatment may not work the first time but I hadnt really prepared myself to not even get to the embro transfer stage. We started accupuncture last sat and are going again today, as we feel we need something to focus on.

Would love to keep in touch with you as I feel that nobody really understands what we are going through. Hope you are feeling better soon, I feel better than I did last week. What have your clinic said you need to do now?

Hope you have a good weekend, take it easy

ka xxx
Milz
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:18 pm 
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Hello MrsE27,

Thanks for your concern I know exactly how you are feeling, don't be afraid I'm on the same boat as you, altough on IVF as to your ICSI.

When me and dh first has our primary fertility investigations at University College Hospital (UCLH) , my dh had a low sperm count and low motility, with me I had a low LH surge. Our journey was made tough and delayed when dh tests was Hep B positive. I had to get Hep B vaccines, we got referred to IVF Hammersmith hospital as UCLH did not have a virology dept. to treat us. After monthes of waiting, going through the IVF process, injecting daily on a routine with the Gonal F and Orgalutran, having three scans and being told IVF failed. I felt horrible and not women enough, not only that I felt suicidal, thankfully faith in God intervened and saved me thinking and commiting rubbish.

I've got my fingers crossed as this was my first ever cycle. Hopefully my next cycle should work.

The docter has requested I go for a scan (trans-vaginal) on or between day 2 to 7 of my next period, an appointment would be sent via post so our next treatment could be discussed further. In the mean time she said we can have intercourse and see if I can get pregnant, but the chances are slim because my follicles are shriking and I may not ovulate this cycle.

I was given 225 IU (FSH) Gonal F, its supposed to have been a high dose compared to my age and health yet my ovaries failed to stimulate well enough to produce the required rate of follicules and the required follicle size. I think I might be put on a higher dose for the next cycle, God knows.

It's a bit strange I feel as if I don't know my body at all, I'm very healthy as to what I eat (always snacking on fruits) trying to get 5 fruits and veg a day with a lot of gym and yoga.


Do stay in touch, it was encouraging to communicate with you as I felt I'm not alone. Hopefully we will have succes, lots of baby dust to you.

Mili
lillia
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 8:40 pm 
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Hey ladies, going through fertility treatment is so tough, full of highs and lows and all our hopes and fears all rolled in to one. but at least we all have each other on here, it is so ggod to be able to share everything with ladies in a similar situation.

MrsE27, i was wondering how you were hun, have you any plans to start another cycle?

Mils welcome and you are right none of us should give up, best of luck for this month hun, you never know you may go on to get a natural BFP.

xx
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sept 2008 failed vas reversal
July 2009 ICSI, BFP but lost to severe OHSS
Nov 2009 Surgery to remove damaged ovary
October 2010 2nd ICSI, short protocol BFN
trying to raise funds for round 3, hoping to cycle august 2011
Milz
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:37 am 
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Oh Lillia,

Thank you so much for your message, it's so encouraging espeecially to read what you wrote "you never know you may go on to get a natural BFP". I know I'm a bit too sensitive at the moment, but thanks so much. It helps when ladies here have confidence in others and are able to share thoughts and feelings.

It's so hard for me at the moment my father in law passed away the week I started on the FSH drugs (just two weeks ago), I'm having to support my husband as well as myself now with the failed IVF.

MrsE27, Lillia and other ladies reading this message, please try not to stress too much on ttc. I know it's hard as I'm going through it my self. but try to think of all the positive things.

Mili
sharon34
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:45 am 
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Hey Girls,

Sorry to but in,.....Mili hun to start with im so sorry to hear your news its just not fair sometimes .......if you intend to go for another go i would enquire about a short protocol ....it may suit you better ...its for ladies who dont respond as well to long protocol.....and as its name is so much shorter ....you have no down reg with it they use more of your bodies natural hormones and lots of ladies get better results from it ......

and Lilla is right you have each other no one can understand until they have been through something similar .....

good luck

sharon

x x x
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Thea-Our Darling Daughter with us for 2 special days ....always loved missed more .....

Xavier lifes pure joy
Milz
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:03 pm 
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Hi sharo34,

You mentioned a short protocol, which one is that? I was on the antagonist Protocol.

Thank you for your support, I wish you and all a happy succesful journey to baby making. Lots of baby dust to all.

Mili
sharon34
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:11 pm 
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Hey Hun,

it looks like you were on what would be classed as a long protocol .....a long one starts on day 21 of your cycle and you down reg then bleed then start stimms but the short you start around day 1 of your cycle and stimm with no down reg ......there is a lot more to than that but thats the simple way to explain it ....see i dont know much about the ones that use the pill to help ...there is a lady on the other thread who has done that one maybe pop over and chat to them they are a good bunch and support is fab ....

best wishes hun

x x x
_________________
Thea-Our Darling Daughter with us for 2 special days ....always loved missed more .....

Xavier lifes pure joy
claire04
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:29 pm 
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Hi really sorry to hear ypur news. just wanted to say dont give up. They can change your drugs to suit you. i had a failed 1st cycle but now 16 weeks pregnant after 2nd cycle. I had a long protocall after being told it had a better sucsess rate. So please dont give up hope Smile Keep your chin up and take a deep breath and go for it . wish you lots of love and all the luck in the world x x x
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