Referred for IVF - why is this happening to all of us?

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ja43118
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:46 pm 
Post subject: Referred for IVF - why is this happening to all of us?
Hi all,

After TTC for 2 years, suffering 2 miscarriages and having the most painful experience of my life (HSG) they have now discovered that I have a blocked tube (most likely due to my emergency appendectomy) and we have been added to the IVF waiting list.

This has prompted me to investigate what is involved in IVF etc, and I have to say - I am distraught!!!!!! This isnt how it is supposed to be. I love my hubby so much, we live good lives, we give to charity, we have great supportive friends and family. We are in a comfortable position to be able to care for a child - so why does that have to involve us being poked and prodded, drugged and invaded, before we get to experience what most people have such fun experiencing.

I just read about egg retrieval and they said you will have your eggs removed in one room and in another room your hubby will ejaculate into a cup. Yes - that is how I imagined us conceiving our first baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I keep thinking I cant do this any longer - but I have been for 2 years and we are still here trying.

I am sorry to upset anyone else going through this - as I am sure you have already been through this time, but I just feel so disappointed, and also like it is my fault. It is me who has the problem, why does my hubby have to go through this.

Jo x
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sharon34
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:13 pm 
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Hey Hun,

i can feel for you ....we have just done with out first cycle of ivf and when you read and listen to what they tell you it sounds horrid and your sure it will never work and and and ......the ands go on forever you think of hundreds of things and honest hun .....i would never lie to anyone about it ....the staff you get are worth gold truely and honest hun so simple they explain everything and its so easy they understand this is not how youplanned to get pregnant but know they can help you get there .......the lucky thing for us is we got 13 eggs had 6 frozen and 2 put back and im now pregnant with our baby ......so its not all bad id do it again in a flash

good luck

sharon

x x x
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lillia
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:54 pm 
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Hun to be honest you have got to take a little time to get used to the idea of IVF and then pick yourself up and get on with it, it's not so bad and at the end of the day a few weeks of prodding and poking to get the baby of your dreams is so worth it in the end. At least we live in times where science can offer us IVF. Yes it is hard but once you accept your fate it just becomes a new journey - same goal, different approach.

I wish you so much luck, my OH and i were gutted when we discovered we had no chance of a natural conception but after a few days i had totally come round to the idea and was turning my energy into finding out as much a i can about the process of ivf/ icsi.

Come and join us ladies on the anyone doing ivf /icsi thread, we are all in the same boat Very Happy
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sept 2008 failed vas reversal
July 2009 ICSI, BFP but lost to severe OHSS
Nov 2009 Surgery to remove damaged ovary
October 2010 2nd ICSI, short protocol BFN
trying to raise funds for round 3, hoping to cycle august 2011
Gailly
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:21 am 
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Hiya

Although I'm not going through IVF (we're trying IUI first) I completely understand how you're feeling. I've asked myself the same questions. Why me? I'm a good person etc. It's extremely hard to come to terms with. I keep thinking, well maybe I won't have to go on the pill for the rest of my life. I always used to stress if I missed one; I needn't have worried haha.

Anyway, also wanted to say what lovely replies you had from Sharon and Lillia. I hoped they've helped you feel better.

I wish you lots and lots of luck on your IVF journey. Stay strong but remember that it's not bad to feel how you're feeling and you're entitled to feel sad or angry whenever you like.

Gailly xxx
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mimilo
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:38 am 
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hi,

i totally understand how you're feeling, i'm in the same situation myself. had first appointment with ivf clinic two days ago and since then i have been crying, been angry, been making bitter and cynical comments, cancelled social things with people who are pregnant/have kids etc etc. it is really overwhelming and it is hard to accept that it has come to this. and yes, it isn't exactly romantic, is it?! and yes, it is unfair too. i'm a high school teacher and i hear about horrible parents all the time and can't help but to wonder why people like that can have kids but we, who are good people, can't... i'm hearing you.

just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like you do.
i hope you feel better soon and best of luck xx
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Me 28 (have endo)
DH 38 (has low morphology)
TTC #1 since Nov 07
Surgery to remove endo Feb 09
Starting ICSI Aug 09
sharon34
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:54 am 
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Hey Girls,

i understand you feel bitter but trust me ivf is not nearly as bad as you think ........ its not nearly as stressful as what you have been through ..... i dont know about all of you but the whole stress of every month is it this month what if its not the huge emotional roller coaster you go through to get to this point, and all you now have to do is exactly as you are told ......thats it as they say when they say ....you have no control over any of it you cannot do anything wrong to make it not work its a 90%science and 10%nature and you as cold as it sounds are just 1 extra part in this ......

We have just had another one of the ivf girls get her BFP on her 1st go ......so its got defo ups to it

good luck

x x x
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Thea-Our Darling Daughter with us for 2 special days ....always loved missed more .....

Xavier lifes pure joy
lillia
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:02 pm 
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Hi Ja43118, Gailly and mimilo,

Hi there, i was thinking of you hun how are you feeling today?

Mimilo how did your clinic appointment go? whats the next step for you hun?

Gailly where are you in your iui journey? How are you finding it so far?
_________________
sept 2008 failed vas reversal
July 2009 ICSI, BFP but lost to severe OHSS
Nov 2009 Surgery to remove damaged ovary
October 2010 2nd ICSI, short protocol BFN
trying to raise funds for round 3, hoping to cycle august 2011
mimilo
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 1:01 am 
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hi ladies,

lillia, thanks for supporting us newbies in the ivf world! Smile

our first appointment was ok, they ran through everything very fast though so i didn't even have time to think of questions, but they said we can call or email anytime. we had to see the councellor too and i was just crying for most of that... i find it hard to accept our situation, especially since everyone around me who have kids or are pregnant (and there are quite a few) haven't had any problems at all and don't understand. they can even be quite insensitive at times. i find it so unfair.

we are going overseas to see my family in two weeks and i'm going to email the ivf clinic on the first day of my cycle while i'm there and that then means that pretty much as soon as i'm back home (in august) i start on the synarel spray.

i've been reading your "anyone doing ivf" tread and it's so nice that you're supporting eachother so much and that there are two bfps already! i might join you in august if you'll let me!

to the other ladies who are heading into ivf for the first time like me, i totally understand how you're feeling. it is not fun. my outlet is going to the gym, it makes me feel a lot better. i also come on here a fair bit, because people understand here. and i try to avoid people or situations that will upset me, like socialising with my pregnant sister in law, who knows of our problems but still complains about her pregnancy and her other kids in front of us all the time, 'poor me, i'm pregnant', it makes me soooo furious Evil or Very Mad

anyway, this is getting long now, sorry.
all the best x
_________________
Me 28 (have endo)
DH 38 (has low morphology)
TTC #1 since Nov 07
Surgery to remove endo Feb 09
Starting ICSI Aug 09
Gailly
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:14 pm 
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Hi Lillia

I'm on day 2 today so just taking the clomid. Will start the injections on day 5 which will be Thursday. So, still nearly 2 weeks until insemination.

Had a bit of a scare this weekend because I had been taking Norethisterone to delay my period so day 1 would be a Friday. However, I didn't come on until yesterday! I was thinking I might be out of the running for IUI this month since they wanted me to start my period over the weekend. "Phew" is all I can say. This was the first time in nearly 2 years when I've actually been pleased to see AF! haha.

Anyway, I must keep calm and positive from now on.

Thanks so much for asking after me.

Gailly xxx
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Minxymoo
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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:57 pm 
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I'm sorry ladies but when I read the line about this is how you imagine having your first baby I laughed because no it really isn't but my best mate went thru all of this after her hubby had cancer and the stories she told me had me in stitches. Even when she was pregnant at last, someone asked her what did she want a boy or a girl and her reply came out as long as it has four legs I don't care. She said the guy looked really stunned, I think it was all the drugs and stress made her add arms and legs together.

Keep the happy thoughts going xxx
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lillia
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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:38 pm 
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Hi Minxy,
You are welcome on the IVF ICSI IUI thread! come over anytime Very Happy I will be nice for you to go on hols and start straight away Very Happy I found the spray has made my nose a little sore and sometimes it makes me sneeze when i take it Laughing

Gailly good luck for this cycle hun Very Happy My AF turned up 3 days early when i started my cycle - it NEVER did that before!!! typical Laughing
_________________
sept 2008 failed vas reversal
July 2009 ICSI, BFP but lost to severe OHSS
Nov 2009 Surgery to remove damaged ovary
October 2010 2nd ICSI, short protocol BFN
trying to raise funds for round 3, hoping to cycle august 2011
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