Please help me support

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Joined: 30 Aug 2009
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:20 am 
Post subject: Please help me support
I am so stressed and hope you can help me.

My sister was taken into hospital today with an ectopic pregnancy, she is 2 months(ish) pregnant. She was taken in with heavy bleeding and severe pain.

Tomorrow she has to have an operation and I am so scared for her. She is so upset and I don't think it has really sunk in what is going on for her, she is jsut dealing with the immediate pain and getting through accepting what is happening to her.
No one at the hospital has explained to her the future problems she may face (which they will do tomorrow before the op I assume) and I just want advice to help her.

She is only just 25 and wants a big family and I am so scared if her fertility will be damaged, I don't know how she will cope with any more stress in her life she is going through so much.

Please if you have been through this what can I do to support her? I have no idea how this feels for her and just need to make sure she is ok. She will be devistated and I live so far away I can not be there all the time.

Please can you help me with a few pointers as to what support she will need physically after the op and onward so I know when to be there and also emotionally just a few pointers.
She is such a lovely person but so many terrible things keep happening I jsut want to make sure she has support from me in the right way.

Thanks so much
AskBaby Star
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Joined: 04 Nov 2008
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:10 am 
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Hello Kly. Smile First of all, I am so sorry that your sister is going through this as it is a traumatic experience. Going through the excitment of being pregnant only to lose your baby under these circumstances is so very hard. I do speak from experience. She will be very scared and very emotional as you probably already know.

Although it is very sad to be losing her baby in this way, I think once this has sunk in, she will be more concerned about her own health and recovery in the first instance. Afterwards, she will need alot of support emotionally and also physically as for me, I found it hard to get out of bed for a few days (from the side effects of the op)

I think it will help for all involved to know that this is a severely shocking situation for your sister. Not only has she lost her pregnancy but an ectopic is a life threatening situation (she will be fine because she is in the right place, so dont worry) but non the less it is very very traumatic and the pain is like nothing else that I have experienced.

She will be gutted and feel desparate that she will have lost a fallopian tube (and poss an ovary) She will need all the love and support that you and your family can give. She may need councilling afterwards. There is a website called the ectopic pregnancy trust which might help as well.

If she loses a tube but keeps both her ovaries, tell her that her fertility is not 50% less as her remaining tube can also pick up eggs from the opposite ovary so in fact her fertility is only reduced by 25-30%.
Finally, there are ladies on here who have gone on to get pregnant successfully after an ectopic pregnancy who I am sure will reply to you as well.

I hope all goes well with your sister. She will pull through and come out the other side with love and support. xxx

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AskBaby Star
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Joined: 25 May 2009
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:02 pm 
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Hi Hun. Im so sorry to hear what your sister is going through. I too empathise from experience. All what Lou says is so so true and I cant really add to it. But just to say Im sure with support from such a lovely sister she will get through.

May I just say fututre fertility is affected but again like Lou has said not as much as your sister may think. I am now 31 wks pg, and hope that the future holds some light for your sister too.

The Ectopic pregnancy Trust was too a great support for myself in particular the early days.

Take Care and Hugs to you both. Cx
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