1st post here. 3rd loss since Dec 2008..this time ectopic

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MaybeBabySomeday
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:46 am 
Post subject: 1st post here. 3rd loss since Dec 2008..this time ectopic
Hello. I'm May. I am 38 (almost 39)...which is scaring me even more now (the age thing)
I am falling into a depression and waiting for my ins. co. to help me pay for some meds to help take the edge off so I can get enough motivation to get out of bed these days.
Here's my history:
First loss was at my 12w appt on 9/10/2002...no heartbeat...missed m/c/fetal demise was around 7-8 weeks. Had D&C om 9/11/02.
5/04 early m/c meani ng literally within 1-2 days of +HPT
9/04 Blighted Ovum
5/07 early m/c
12/08 m/c at 11w (baby and sac were measuring 9 wks). given cytotec to m/c at home...BAD BAD BAD experience with that.
4/09 had d&c due to not having a d&c in the first place and going the cytotec route
6/09 m/c 8 days after +HPT
8/09 ectopic discovered at 6w1d on u/s,,,saw and heard heartbeat and was sent home on cloud 9...20 mins after the call from the dr came...,perfectly developing baby but ectopic in my right fallopian tube. My HCG was >5000 and I was just starting to feel an ache and some sharp pain on right side. I had laproscopic (sp?) surgery immediately where the OB made an incision in my tube and was very conservative and took out my sweet angel Sad, gave me a shot of some drug I cannot remember (starts with letter "M")
and did a partial d&c so that I would bleed too heavily after my surgery.

I have an appt. with the surgeon in one month to see if my tube needs to come out or not...Hoping it heals really well.
I also am Rh- and have progesterone levels that are around 13 so that was just discovered in July and I was placed on Prometrium.

I am worried about my future fertility. As far as loss, I am used to it almost now. I get a lot of criticism for our persistence towards our dream...to bring a living child home to love and nurture. It's really hard these days because of my age and now this surgery that could impair my fertiliity ( I've had infertility problems on and off - cause unknown)

I am finding myself having a hard time seeing parents with their children, pregnant women and most of all seeing small babies. I don't quite understand these feelings I have because they are anger, envy and a sense of feeling inferior to women that can do something that I just can't seem to do. Weird... Embarassed Question

My dr told us to use birth control for at least 3 months. That hurts too because my bio-clock is ticking down to the last hour or so it feels.

We cannot afford IVF to help avoid future ectopic pregnancies. Adoption is something that we are not interested in. We want a child that was made in our love and shares our ancestry.

There's more stuff like tests I've had done for blood clotting disorders and such. The only questionable issue is my progesterone levels. I am Rh- and have always recieved RhoGam and was even tested for the antibody which came back unpresent. That was a relief.

Well, I am nervous about exposing all this personal stuff to the world to see. But, I need to talk and share. We always keep our fertility, pregnancies and losses secrets for GOOD reasons with our family and friends. Someone said that all of our losses are a sign from God that it's not HIS will for us to have a family...I don't agree but that comment has tormented me for so long and beyond belief.

I hope to be able to connect with others out there that have these issues. All we know IRL is people that get pregnant easily and have their babies....ya know the kind that build the playground in the yard before they even conceive...

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I don't know where to post this. It doesn't seem like there is much activity and I am desperately needing to talk and connect with other women that understand and talk to.
JulieWoo
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:41 am 
Post subject:
I can totally understand where you are coming from so dont apologise.

The 'M' drug they would be talking about is Methotrexate - you really do need to use B/C for 3 months as it is a chemotherapy drug and destroys/ prevents cell growth. It stays in your system for a good couple of months and would kill a developing embryo.

We had an ectopic in April 09 and i lost my tube - i have since found out my remaining tube is blocked, and IVF is not looking likely. We are unable to get NHS funding as we already have a child together.

And all those people that say its not HIS will should be ashamed of themselves - all i can say about their lack of compassion is what goes around comes around. So take NO notice.

I hope your dream comes true for you, and wish you everything good. Take care,

Julie xxx
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Our baby Eleanor lost 6 Apr 10
MaybeBabySomeday
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:59 am 
Post subject: methotrexate and killing an embryo if pregnant again
JulieWoo wrote:
I can totally understand where you are coming from so dont apologise.

The 'M' drug they would be talking about is Methotrexate - you really do need to use B/C for 3 months as it is a chemotherapy drug and destroys/ prevents cell growth. It stays in your system for a good couple of months and would kill a developing embryo.

We had an ectopic in April 09 and i lost my tube - i have since found out my remaining tube is blocked, and IVF is not looking likely. We are unable to get NHS funding as we already have a child together.

And all those people that say its not HIS will should be ashamed of themselves - all i can say about their lack of compassion is what goes around comes around. So take NO notice.

I hope your dream comes true for you, and wish you everything good. Take care,

Julie xxx


I talked to my doctor about what you stated above and he said that is not true. But who knows, they don't always know everything and we put our trust in some that are quacks.
Redwolf
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:09 pm 
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Hun....

Peeps should never ever say things like that too u its very very insensitive no matter if it is their religous beliefs xxx

And if u want to keep tring then u should.... i know its not easy .... and it never is .....

My gran mc alot and out of all her children only managed to carry 3 to full term and all girls it was found out she couldnt carry boys!!

Have u had any of them tested?? (sorry if its a tad insensitve)....
my husband have decided that if i mc this one too we are going to let them test the baby.... we didnt on my first one as it was raw.....

I hope u get the lil bean u deserve..... keep ur chin up hun..... i know how u feel as i feel as if ive been repeatadly kicked over and over at the mo due to what we are going through.....

Take care Kirsten xxxx
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JulieWoo
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:06 pm 
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Maybebabysomeday,

sorry you hear you had another m/c - but at least you know you can do it! I hope the next one is sticky bean in the right place.

Most Drs/Consultants in the UK recommend not TTC for 3 months after having Methotrexate b/c of the high risk of m/c within the 3 months - because of the effects of the drug. It is a chemotherapy drug, and is given to patients with cancer to kill off the cancer cells and reduce tumours. This is how it works too with an e/p. If you need 2 injections (because the betas are not falling quickly enough) they increase the waiting time to 6 months - which must be even harder to bear.

I had my tube removed along with the ep, and my beta was still over 200 (most probably from a few rogue trophoblast cells) - 6 weeks later!
Its the healing time too.

Take care,

Julie xx
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Our baby Eleanor lost 6 Apr 10
MaybeBabySomeday
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:46 am 
Post subject: Julie
JulieWoo wrote:
Maybebabysomeday,

sorry you hear you had another m/c - but at least you know you can do it! I hope the next one is sticky bean in the right place.

Most Drs/Consultants in the UK recommend not TTC for 3 months after having Methotrexate b/c of the high risk of m/c within the 3 months - because of the effects of the drug. It is a chemotherapy drug, and is given to patients with cancer to kill off the cancer cells and reduce tumours. This is how it works too with an e/p. If you need 2 injections (because the betas are not falling quickly enough) they increase the waiting time to 6 months - which must be even harder to bear.

I had my tube removed along with the ep, and my beta was still over 200 (most probably from a few rogue trophoblast cells) - 6 weeks later!
Its the healing time too.

Take care,

Julie xx

I found out that they didn't give me that methotrexate anyway. My dbf thought he heard them say that. It was Rhogam (which still to this day I test negaitve for the antibody. I was too out of it after the surgery. I asked when I had my surgical follow up visit.
We are ttc. I am Cd 23. I hope this is the month and we get a keeper. I am so depressed - 3 miscarriages and 1 ectopic in 12 months.

Thanks for writing...good luck to you!
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