Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:59 am
no u shudnt be worried!
every pregnancy is different.
i didnt get a bump until i was past 20 weeks with my daughter.
and my sister is pregnant with her second and felt kicks much later than her first.
so dnt worry and just remebr every pregnancy is different.
take it your due on xmas day?
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:07 am
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:43 pm
I had a hernia on mine when I was born so had to have it pushed in and stitched up-I just look like a very fat lady with two tyres!!!!!!!!!!!!
My hubby keeps wanting to look at bump but im embarressed as it doesnt look like other lovely bumps you see in magazines/on telly- it is also coverd with stretch marks!!!!
Im feeling so miserable today and me and oh have just had a huge row-Ive told him i want a divorce!!! i dont mean it-im just having a nightmare controlling the hormones today-im being vile.A nice cuddle from him once in a while might help.Anyone else feel totally unloved and unappriciated? or is it just me?
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:58 pm
yes hun i have-we have been together 13 years and married 4-we have never argued so much as we have lately- i just feel like he doesnt care.He keeps telling me what a brilliant dad he will make and just told me hel be a better parent than I will be (thats when I freaked)
He really hurts my feelings and all I want is a bit of a cuddle.when I say I feel fat and unnatractive he just says "you can sort it out by going back to the gym" which is true but not what I am looking to hear.
I think he has forgotten about me and just wants the baby.Because we have always had such a good relationship before I am really starting to resent him.
Rather than stay and sort itout (and I was bawling my head off) he just got in the car and buggerd off-cant blame him after me being so vile.Im so confused.Im sure its me? but he seems so cold and distant.We went for dinner the other evening and he had nothing to say to me,we just sat there like two starngers.
sorry for the rant.
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:02 pm
go ahead and rant, sounds like you need it.
he sounds like an insensitive bugger!! my guy tells me same thing about getting back in the gym but that's only because he knows i love the gym and can't wait to get back.
have you considered that he's feeling threathened by the baby, maybe even feeling a little left out??you know how screwed some men's thinking is!!!
since he's saying he's going to be a better parent i wouldn't say it's you that was being vile!!!! i would just give it time to cool off with him and give yourself a little relaxing time, maybe book into a salon/beauticians and have a bit of pampering, trust me, it can do wonders when you're feeling low
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:08 pm
Thanks for the advice huni- Hes like a different person,Its like living with a stanger.
plus he-NEVER says he is sorry ,Its always me.Im not going to today tho-
He thinks he has had the best upbringinging and my parents did everything wrong-they did make mistakes but im sure everyone does??Because of this he says ill mess up our baby like my parents did me-I cant beleve he said that-im so shocked.He never accepts he might be wrong about something.I feel like ive l;ost my identity-Im leaving behind a great career that I have worked hard for,all my friends at work too.I think hes making the most of the vunerable side of me (that doesnt make much of an appearance often) I know I am probably being a bit clingy-But I feel a bit frightened and a bit lost.
If it were the other way around I would be trying to support and encourage him as much as possible.
I thought this would be a magical time-It just seems to be pulling us apart.
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:13 pm
that is a despicable thing to say!!! to be honest, most of the time i see that women that didn't have the best upbringings make the best mums because they know the behaviour to avoid!!
it really sounds like he's trying to really drag you down while you are low already and it's wrong. this is the most important time for him to support you! have you considered marriage counselling? seems like the two of you have alot of issues and problems that needed sorting.
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:20 pm
i am going to suggest it-when we are both calm.
I dont need this right now-its not good for me to get so upset.
Thanks for listening- I darent speak to my mum/friends about it they ae all a bit sick of his behaviour-
I want our baby to be in a happy environment(which is what we have always had) and if this is how its going to be then something has got to give before the baby arrives.
I havent done anything practical today-just cried and washed and dried my hair-which by the way will not behave.
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:22 pm
perhaps he's just freaking out slightly over the responsibility that comes with a baby...seems lovely in fantasy land but when the reality is there it may be a bit too much for him to cope with which is why he's acting the way he is?
i'm sitting looking at my hair, and wondering how the hell i'm going to manage to get it into any kind of shape before going out so i know exactly how you feel there!