has any1 had an awful childhood??

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fifitot
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:24 pm 
Post subject: has any1 had an awful childhood??
hey, im just looking 4 a little bit of advise, i have a 2yr old son+im fiercly protective of him, due 2 avin a traumatic childhood, i dont trust any1 near him i dont know, i constan tly think sum harm is goin to cum 2 him, i suffer frm severe depression due 2 my past in which im gettin beta day by day, +i know that contributes 2wards how possesive i am off him, im just lookin 4 otha women 2 give me a bit off advise or reassurance that im not the only woman like this...would b realy grateful 4ur stories x
linzbam
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:30 pm 
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I dont have kids myself yet am ttc, but i understand why you feel like this.

I have a bad past growing up and will all i can to stop history repeating itself so will prob have the same frame of mind to be honest. As long you dont try to suffercate your little un im sure everything will be ok. And its better to me safe than sorry i reckon around strangers as there are some wierd people in the world. I wouldnt worry too much.

Glad to hear your getting better by the day and i hope the future is a bright one for you both. xx
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fifitot
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:44 pm 
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yeah im constantly trying 2 protect him, even though i know history wont repeat itself becuz he will neva b put in a situation 2 av it happen 2 him, i try not 2 suffocate him+finaly i am able 2 let him go out wiv his dad+grandparent wivout me...even though i trust them 100%, i just feel at times if im not there sumthing awful will happen 2 him, aww i hope u av all the luck in the world when it comes 2 testing day,
Kenty
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:51 pm 
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i have had a very traumatic childhood(check out my post in the support topic for just a hint of what i have been through!)

in case you want the easy version...i was sexually abused for a lot of years! now i'm having a little girl and to be honest i'm absolutely terrified i'm going to be over protective with her and will not trust her daddy around her Confused

as long as you ensure you never put him in the kind of position you were in then i really would try not to worry too much and enjoy him Smile
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fifitot
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:11 pm 
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hey congrats on the forcoming birth of ur little girl, yeah i was sexualy abused from the age of 5 to 11, and its left a terrible impact on me as a person+my life, i live with a constant fear of my little boy coming 2 sum harm, and i dread him starting nursery in january, becuz i wont b there 2 watch him, i thought i wouldnt be this bad when i found out i was having a boy, but then maybe if i had a girl i would b ten times worse, for something that hurt me it never goes away because it has this impact on my future with the way i am with my son+how i am as a mother, do u feel that no matter how much u have closed the door it isnt firmly shut becuz the fear u are left with for ur own child?
Kenty
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:19 pm 
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it's not closed in my life anyways as i have the courtcase against this man in september but i do know what you mean and i think you're right, as long as we have children to worry about we will never fully be able to close that door.

my advice would be to just relax, nurseries and play groups have to do police checks before they hire staff so the child will be totally safe. as a victim yourself you will also know the signs alot quicker than anyone else and know what to look out for.

i think you should just enjoy your son, otherwise he'll sense the tension and wariness in you and will respond to that.
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linzbam
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:35 pm 
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How wierd is that we all have suffered the same childhood. and to think i think im going to be alright when it somes to looking after my own child.

Kenty you said you dont trust your daughters dad around her, is that because if him or your past. how do you get through that?
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fifitot
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:51 pm 
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i felt the same wen i was pregnant,that i wouldnt trust his daddy,..but no matter how bad things have been in the past,believe me it fades away completly wen u see the bond betwen ur partner+ur baby, and u av 2 tell urself would u be with that man if 4 1min afta what u av been thru if u sensed he was a danger??
Kenty
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:08 pm 
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my little girl isn't born yet so i haven't had to face the problem but i know that it is going to be an issue.

my man is absolutely perfect and deep down i know he would never do anything to harm her but unfortunately after the amount i dealt with at the hands of a man i'm not sure i'll be able to put my trust in him completely Confused

i think when the time comes i'm going to have to explain to him my worries and work through it bit by bit, he knows my past so he'll be understanding about it, i hope!!
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