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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 5:57 pm 
Post subject: so down
ok i dont wnt 2 b the person that moans all the time bt im feeling so down. im so tired n just dont feel happy. then i feel guilty cse i love leon so much n wunt change him 4 the world. i no im supose 2 be happy bt im not. im finding it hard admitting 2 this and havent told any 1 else but im really really down. i spend my ever waking hour with leon n i really do love him so much but im unhappy n i dont no why i feel so bad i sud b happy.

i dont wnt 2 tell any 1 cse i no they will just say "it wa ur choice 2 have a baby no 1 ed it wud b easy" bt i dint no id b doing this alone.

i dont no if im even ganna post this cse i feel like im a bad mum 4 bein unhappy wen i have the most specile most gorguess baby in the world.
my mum came home 2day with sum new clothes 2 try cheer me up cse she as sed she noticed im down

plz help x
LauraG
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:00 pm 
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hi laura,

dont feel like ur a bad mum coz ur certainly not.

its gd that u can admit how ur feeling and not hide it away.

i no how hard it is doing it alone as my husband was workign away a lot of the time and i remember feelign so low and not being able to do anythign but for the baby.

y dont u ask ur mum or someone if they can babysit and u have a girly night out or somet sounds liek u need time out for abit which everyone needs from time to time.
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:05 pm 
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thanxs 4 reply hun. glad that sum 1 else have felt like this. i crnt go out to cse i 8 the way i look sounds stupid bt its true x
MrsMummy
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:06 pm 
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you are certainly not a bad mum for feeling down, you are doing this all yourself and you should be so proud of yourself.
i would go and speak to your doc or health visitor about post natal depression, they won't judge you , they see it everyday and the best mums in the world can get it. xxxxxx
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LauraG
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:10 pm 
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dont worry u will get ur body bk to normal.

find something that u feel comfortbale. i bought my self one of them smock tops so wasnt tight on my belly.

ust go for a few drinks at ur local or wotever u like to do.

it will give u a lil time to have a talk about something other than babies.
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:10 pm 
Post subject: xx
thanxs 4 reply im scared if i speak 2 the docs or health visiter about it they will take leon away untill i feel better x
Zee81
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:12 pm 
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Hi lillamb.. i'm glad you did share your thoughts with us, i think you need to get this off your chest.
I understand that your lil boy is your life.. and you love him more than words cud ever say, but you still need a bit of time for yourself to.. and don't ever feel guilty for feeling like this hun.
Are you able to discuss this with your H-visitor in confidence, she may be able to offer some help an advice.
I couldn't imagine what you are going through.. but think you are amazin lady!
Do you feel close to ya mum?.. do you feel you are able to talk to her, she might ofer to hav leon for a couple of hours, just while you get ya thoughts together...

Am sending you the {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Biggest Hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Take Care hun... we are always here if you need to chat!
Sorry i can't do more hun. xxxx
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:15 pm 
Post subject: xx
thanxs zee. im close 2 my mum but i wud never cry infront ov her. n everytime i fink about how im feeling i cry x
MrsMummy
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:19 pm 
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mylillamb, they would never ever take your baby away just because you are feeling down, like you said you love him to pieces and would never do anything to hurt him, just expalin this, postnatal depression is so common these days,
maybe do what laura said and have a night with the girls, or even a night in with a film and earlynight, we all know what an amazing woman you are and great mum. your body has just gone through something huge and your hormones are everywhere, most people will be expecting you to cry lol.
i cried with my frst because a bouquet of flowers fell over,
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:22 pm 
Post subject: xx
thanxs hun. i fink ill have a good cry wen every 1 is asleep tnite. get it all out lol. x
Zee81
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:26 pm 
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I feel a bit the same way wit my mum... but still very close.
Don't be ashamed to cry in front of ya family thought, they might just assume you are coping and don't want to interfere... but some times a good cry on ya mama's shoulder does a world of good. I did it once with my dad (baring in mind my dads this big hard man who doesn't do emotion lol) but i just broke down in tears... but it was just what i needed, and he was brill... even just sat there listening.
Am sure they'll be there to support you hun. xxx
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LauraG
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:28 pm 
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the docs wont take ur baby away they might be abel to help. they understand that u r the best thing for leon but we gotta make u feel better.
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slummymummy
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:07 pm 
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Aww hon, i'm sorry you feel down. I think a lot of new mums go through this too, your hormones must be all over the place trying to settle down and you probably have a lot of sleep you need to catch up on as well.

I hope you'll feel better soon, don't ever doubt that you aren't a good mum x x x
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mylillamb
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:56 pm 
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thanxs 4 replys. i crnt belive how bad i feel. i feel like [*@!#%*]. i can rem once leons dad n me was walking down street n he was kicking my legs n calling me names. then he spat on me n told me i was nuffin. n thats how i feel again. bt then everytime i look at leon i just keep finking i am im his mummy and so proud. iv gt so mix emotions x
Tillysmum
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:05 pm 
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Hi

I just couldnt help but reply to you Mylilamb. When I had my daughter 6 years ago I was an idiot. I thought it was going to be something out of Catherine Cookson and we would be in a little fluffy world - how wrong can one be. I had a horrific birth and I will be honest I thought my daughter had ruined my life. i had always worked and to be stuck at home feeling [*CENSORED*] with this little person was awful - however i knew from 5 days post birth that I had post natal depression and was happy to admit it. Went to the docs who were lovely - had some councilling re the birth, got some anti depressants, relied on my mum 24/7 (which she loved) and I got through it.

I would not be without tilly rose for anything in the world. She is my life. Okay so I cannot really remember her first 12 weeks but she was cared for so there wasnt a proble. Please do not feel guilty - your life has been turned upside down and no-one can prepare you for that.

I apologise for writing a book but listen to one older and wiser -go to the docs, tell them how you are feeling and they will give you a little pick me up.

Your little boy is gorgeous and well so please dont worry.

Hope you dont mind me being so frank.

Take care and I am here if you need to talk
Terina xx
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