Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:28 am
Post subject: domestic violence!! scared for baby.
hiya.i dont no if what my parnter is doing is classsed as domestic violence, but every couple off weeks he as really bad temper outburst. sometimes he will just push me up agaist the wall. or get worse and hit my head off it, pull my hair, headbut me, i thort beging pregant he could not do these things but he as got worse, i dont wanna go to the police as id be scared what he would do to me or my family,
im really worried all the stress is bad for baby, he never touches my belly but if he hits any were else is this bad for baby?
im ashamed of myself for staying with him and puting my baby in danger but i carnt see any other way out. beging a single mum would be really hard, and i no he would always come and find us. and i want my baby to have a dad.
any advice would be great thanxs xxxx
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:22 pm
Iím not a professional, and Iím not trained in giving advice, so thereís nothing I can do to help you except for this: Please call this number 0808 2000 247. Women's Aid is a national service with a 24 hour phone number, so you can call it whenever youíre away from your partner. The people at that number are trained professionals in this area.
Please call this number and donít take anyone elseís advice on this site or otherwise who are not trained professionals. The only other thing I can do is pray for you. I hope it works out.
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:43 pm
Hi, So sorry to hear what you are going through....it isn't good for either you or the baby to be going through this....PLEASE don't wait to pluck up the courage to pick up the phone & call for help...I know it's not easy to make that call....Everyone wants there child to have a dad BUT does dad deserve his family after what he is doing to you & your unborn child????I brought my daughter up on my own as long as you have good friends & family members to help out if you need them you would be able to cope...If you stay with him just because of the baby & dad is still like this when baby comes along baby will grow up thinking that what he/she sees you going through is the correct way of life....You have to think about what is wright for you & baby.....
PLEASE DON'T SIT BACK & SUFFER,BE STRONG PLEASE CALL FOR HELP......
GOOD LUCK & let us know you are safe....
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:11 pm
it took me ages to accept what my ex was doing to me was wrong and i felt so abd keep taking him abck as i was scared to be alone at the time
now ive seen he was nothing but a waste of space and been on ur own with kids is alot better than them seeing a nasty and violent dad.i was lucky my ex wasnt the father of my kdis but what he did still affected them and even now my lil girl cries een if ur play fighting they never saw anything but they heard it.
ur stronger than u think u are u jst have to stop thinking but this baby needs a dad bcuz in all honesty it doesnt have to be the childs real dad to be a dad my fella now is jst as much a dad to my kids as thier real dad is.u have to stop giving him this control over u and i know its hard to do but u can do it.if u really want to leave u will but u have to really want to do it and the only way it hit me was when i started drinking to cope and relaised the whole situation i was in was destroying me and my kids so he had to go.
the csa can be told of the situation and they wont contact him for payments so he cant find u.
go to the police and they will help u bcuz ur pregnant but u have to be willing to say u made a mistake choosing this man as a father i felt awful admitting that my ex wasnt right for me bcuz of the violence but then i felt so much better for it and i cud move on.
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:31 pm
ok well firstly id like to say that i am a professional. and sometimes hun, its nice to hear from those that arent professionals. those people who have actually experienced what you are going through are the ones who can understand you the most.
ive sent you a PM hun
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:59 am
Hi im, really sorry to hear about your situation.
I have just come out of a violent relationship of 4 years (but i was never pregnant with his child). Its very difficult to do anything about it untill you have the strength to want to do it. I went to domestic violence, i had the police involved more time than i can remember, my family where there to support me but there was very little they could do as i kept going back (it had even effected there lives too).
He hit me, he threatened me and my family, he destroyed my car, clothes, t.v. ect... you name it... (my daughter use to see me get hit and it has effected her big time)
Middle of this year i opened my eyes and took a look at my life and it all feel in to place, its not easy as it took me 3 years to get the where i am now, i think something just clicked. He's out of my life, hes not aloud to come anywhere near me and my family and hes up in court beging of next year for assault and other charges... so far so good ive not heard a thing from him.
Men who hit women are just weak and not real men at all, 9/10 they will never change.
Your really need to put your unborn child and yourself first, talk to domestic violence or the police they will lead you in the right direction but you seriously need to get out of that situation if not for you but for your baby, if he can hit you while your pregnant it wont stop when the babys born...
I hope this has help
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:52 pm
Post subject: domestic violence!! scared for baby
hi, i understand excactly what youre going through.
i didnt believe my ex partner was being abusive , but every couple of weeks hed have these violent horrible outbursts.
i always thought it was my fault.
i also truly believed if i became pregnant he would NEVER harm the baby. but, when i was 6 weeks pregnant he kicked me in the stomach, (this b4 we realised i was pregnant, but i think we both knew deep down) i went for a scan at 8 weeks after 2weeks bleeding(i thought it was my period)
The scan showed the bruise, beside the baby, was him kicking me.
That gave me the courage to leave the evil 'beep' as it made me realise what a sick 'beep' he is.
I ALSO, was PETRIFIED of leaving him. But when youre pregnant, it made me realise if I DONT leave him, something FATAL going to happen.
Please go to see Womens Aid, This man is ABUSING you.
It nothing to be ashamed of, have you any idea how many women put up with domestic violence??????????????????????????????????????????// A LOT.
And im not saying it easy. Its VERY DIFFICULT. But NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
I myself am 12 weeks pregnant now and am in a safe place away from my ABUSER. It the best choice i could of made.
I am not saying it easy, as the abuser take your confidence.
But You Know how to get confidence back? You Walk Away.
Please Phone Women Aid , if only For A Private Chat............
Wishing You Love&Luck
x x x x