Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:32 am
Post subject: Xmas cards
was just wondering what you guys do about writing out xmas cards (and birthday cards etc)? We have recieved a lot of cards just addressed to OH me and Thomas. As OH daughter doesn't live with us (we see her once a week - fortnight depending on her college and work schedule) I was wondering if I am supposed to put our xmas cards from her as well or just from people who live here? If I did put her name on too this would mean that a few people will get cards from her twice - off us and her mum - is this weird?
What about personal cards such as to family members? Obviously we would put her name on cards like Grandma - to OH's mum as she is her and Thomas's grandma. But what about my side - I would feel really weird putting her name on a nanna card to my mum from Thomas? (she is nearly 17 remember) am I wrong to feel this way?
What do you guys do? I don't know if its different coz she is almost 17 and very independant of us. Is it different if your step kids are little ones?
All opinions welcome
Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:40 am
Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:10 pm
with cards if its ohs family i write from all of us and step kids, with my family depending on who it is ... if its my mum i write everyone but if its my dad or brothers newphews etc i only put my kids... to be honest at 17 shes old enough to get her own cards in my opinion i know i did... my step kids are 11 and 8 and like to pick their own cards for people.
on that note, do you write one for step kids mum? she gives us one each year and got cards when my kids were born from her and a different one from kids, we do get on when we meet but i still find it strange?
also what do you get on the front of step kids cards? they got me 'someone special' but because im not married to oh i tend to go for ones that maybe you would get for a friend or maybe if i find one special girl / boy?
Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:53 pm
Yeah you are right about being old enough to get her own actually hun - but we have been having the whole "i dont feel like part of your family any more" youre trying to replace me" cr@p since I got pg again I think I will leave it to her to get cards for my family if she wants to (she has a job and gets more money a month than I do since I was made redundant). For OH familuy I would put her name anyway but for friends I think I will just put the three of us?
As far as OH ex goes - this is the first time she has given us an xmas card so I will send her one back. We do get on ok but like you hun - I find it a bit weird.
For OH daughter last year I got a daughter card for her and just got OH to put 'from Dad and Debs".
Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:35 pm
I put my step-kids names on all xmas and birthday cards, as they are part of my family to, i may not have given birth to them, but i treat them as my own, so all card come from all of us as a family unit, but then i have been with their Dad since they were small, they even call my Mum n step-dad, nanny and grandad and the same with my nan and grandad,
I am glad they know they belong x
Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:20 pm
my oh really upset me the other day - he already has a son from a previous relationship and he didnt put my name on any of the presents or the card 'we' bought him ....yet i treat him as if he's part of our family - i seem to have been oushed out.... i think its cuz my oh thinks when he takes his card home his mom wont like it....( she has a big problen with me being with him as it didnt work out for him and her ) but in my opinion he shouldnt care what she thinks x
Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:58 am
Hello CashANDkatieMay - that would really upset me too! have you talked to your oh about it? He shouldn't care what she thinks... in my experience the longer you tip toe around these sort of situations, the longer it takes for any normality in life where the ex's are concerned. x