Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:21 am
Post subject: Us and them? :o/
Hey Ladies - been a bit quiet round here recentlyso thought Id say hi - hopefuly that means we have all been having a quiet life and nothing to rant about? lol (that'll be the day!)
Anyway - just wanted to see if anybody can relate and offer any advice? More and more recently I have found my OH to be excluding me where his daughter is concerned Anytime she comes over or is on the phone - its as if it is private between him and his daughter and I am excluded. He doesn't tell me any news she has or when he has arranged for her to come over (until about an hour before), he doesnt tell me how long she is staying or even when he has arranged for me to take her home (50 mile round trip).
This might sound silly but with a 13 month old and an ever expanding baby bump - I like to try to plan my days/week ahead as I get tired realy easy at the mo (especially driving). The problem is if I dare to ask he either says he doesn't know or says Im being awkward and I have a problem with his daughter and gets all defensive . As Ive said before - I spend more time with her than he does and we seem to get on ok but its startng to make me wonder if she has said something to him about me behind my back.
I just don't get it anymore? it's as if there is a problem between me and SD that I don't know about and anytime I so much as ask about her he gets defensive and accuses me of driving a wedge between us wtf? Ok I don't always agree with her attitude or behaviour but I will say something to OH and he bites my head off - what am I supposed to do? ignore bad behaviour in my own home? Im not prepared to do that! I dont say anything in front of her and try to keep the peace but it is now getting where Im afraid to even talk about her.
anybody else have this?
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:43 am
i'd have it out with your oh once and for all about her put everything in its place - he needs to be reminded she is 17!!!!!!! - i learnt the hard way and trying to keep the peace did not work - your oh needs to sort time firstly when he can see her and not expect you to entertain her and run about after her, remind him that you would not put up with certain behavour from your kiddies let alone from others - be strong!!! - he needs to ask you before he makes arrangements with her and if he doesn't tell you about stuff with her don't ask or show an interest - as soon as he says you are not showing an interest you can explain why!!! - like you say you are pregnant and have a lo, concentrate on your family, your life..... sorry if thats a bit strong hun you are going to have 2 very young children soon and life will get harder.......pm me if you like i've got hundreds of stories like this to bore you with!! take care hun xxx
Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 12:06 pm
I also tried the keep the peace approach it doesnt work, I had problems to when pregnant and it took a while and alot of me loosing my temper for Oh to see sence, but he did finally and most of our problems were sorted out, there are still a few but unfortunatly my Oh has no control over them, and no matter what he as tried he cant seem to resolve the issues, we will just have to wait until the SKs grow up and can make their own minds up hen we can enjoy the things we cant do at the moment, but i can live with that for a few more years
But really you 2 need to talk and try and resolve any issues as it will just start to eat away at you more and you will want to walk,
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 5:43 pm
Thanks for the replies ladies - it really is appreciated
Well I had a little 'row' with OH last week about this subject and things seem to be a bit better. He hasn't been keeping me in the dark so much and not taking me for granted either which is fab. Hope it lasts coz it is so much more relaxed and enjoyable when his daughter is around this way.