Patience please- i have a situation

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Senior Member
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Joined: 15 Jul 2009
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 7:43 pm 
Post subject: Patience please- i have a situation
I have been a step parent previously with my ex, who i have my first son with and i loved it, i got on with my step daughter famously, i felt no jelousy in the situation.
my now parner who i have my second son with is a different story... here goes Very Happy
My partner was with his ex, they had a daughter, he was at the birth etc etc............. then she left him for another man (an affair)
then a DNA test turned up in the post stating his daughter wasn't his daughter but the other mans............ she was 4 by then!! Shocked
so he made the decision to keep contact every wkend, totally heartbroken but as far as she was concerned my partner was 'daddy',
She called her real father dad Confused Rolling Eyes
To cut a long story short, he died in a freak work accident, so my partner has picked up the pieces for the little girl and been there with the focus that every thing happens for a reason.
Now, heres the prob,................ i just cant bond with her, the poor thing has been through alot it is not her fault but im afraid she is the oddest child ever!
She is 9 going on 30 and talks to me lke im dirt, she talks like 2 year old around my partner but is fine talking to me. I told her she could eat up an easter egg but she shoot me the evilest look and said, ''i dont want to fill up on chocolate do i ?!?''
my five year old would have prob eaten the box aswell if id have given him the green light Laughing i just cant relate and dread her coming over, she makes me feel uncomfortable and im not sure why. People think im cruel, until they meet her!! then its, oooo i see what u mean, shes an odd kid!!
i cant talk to OH about it iv just gotta get on with it but its been 18 months with no change, iv never met a child like it!!

AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 1:29 pm 
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Awww hun, i am sorry to read your post, i wish i could help in some way but seems a bit of a hard situation,I didnt want to read and run x

AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 11 Nov 2008
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:30 pm 
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Do you and her mother get on?
Could you talk to her?
Maybe you could sit his daughter down and have a girlie chat or maybe try and do some girlie things together?
Or see if you can get her and her 'daddy' to soend some quality time together? xxxx

Guru Member
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Joined: 09 Jul 2009
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:36 am 
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thats a tuff one! - probably patience and time .... don't be hard on yourself sounds like you are doing a fab job - just let her come to you my ss's don't like fuss its hard but i try and let them come to me not the other way round! lots of luck hun! xx
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