Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:12 am
Post subject: concerned about my 5 year old
ive been concerned about my 5 year old for sometime but just put her behaviour down to normal kid behaviour and just the way she is but recently its been getting to everyone.
here are some of my conerns.
1. she talks constantly like 24/7 and most of the time shes talking about nothing and just making things up. its like she has a need to talk and has to do it all the time to a point where it becomes unenjoyable for people.
2. she annoys other children coz shes on at them constantly and wont give them 5 minutes peace its as if she doesent understand that sometimes we just relax and dont need to talk all the time.
3. she gets very anxious and aggitated easily for example if she thinks where going somewhere and we dont go for whatever reason she wont throw a strop or tanturm but will genuinely get upset about it and has a need to know what where doing all the time.
4. she loves every single day and is such a happy child. she is constantly on the go and nothing seems to tire her out where as it does other children.
5. shes really intelligent for her age which ive thought is a reason why she constantly talkd and asks questions.
6. she is scared about death. she has experienced my nana doing and handled it really well. he was only 3.5 at the time but totally understood what was happening and understand that she had smoked to many cigarettes and got poorly and died and that now shes an angel in the sky watching us and shes quite happy with that idea. but she constantly talks about dying and asks will i die will u die etc. ive tried keepin things simple and saying when we get old we die but thats a long long long time away so dont need to worry or think about that.
7. when you speak to her she always shes 'what' but its not that she hasnt heard you because if you say y are you saying what? what did i say? she can tell you what you said to her.
8. she can sometimes come across as rude but i know she doesent mean to shes not a naughty child. if you ask her whats wrong she comes out with stuff like i cant smile every day. or she says stuff like no way am i doing that im just never gonna do it. and ive explained to her that its rude saying things like that etc. but i think she doesent realise that its rude and shes like im just telling you.
i feel realy guilty writing all of this but recently it has really been getting all the fmily down and we cant get through a day without asking her to be quiet because shes literally on at you 24/7
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:22 am
Sounds like it's just her personality coming through Laura , I've had similar with mine,my youngest son and daughter both never stop talking and have been like that for years and are constantly asking questions, my DD's teacher put in a report that she "likes to organise the other children" in other words she's bossy and like them to do things her way .
Kids also like to know whats happening and some are more laid back but others feel they need to know exactly whats coming next, same as adults really, it's normal in children thats why some will watch the same film or tv show over and over because they like whats familiar to them They don't have much control over things at that age and that can make some kids anxious .Being bright is a good thing but it can mean they get bored easily ,I'd maybe have a word with her teacher as well and see if they can suggest things to help stretch her at school and at home and keep her mind occupied
When my son at about 5 or 6 suddenly became so afraid of dying that he would just burst into tears at the idea i think they just can understand how final it is around that age so it scares them and he was the same and would say I don't want to die , or I don't want dad and you to die All you can do is keep reassuring her in the way you are and with time i'm sure she'll get better .
I think a lot of it is because she maybe thinks more deeply about things than some children, my sons teacher said the same about him, she said it was like having a conversation with an adult because he really thought everything through, not a bad trait to have when you're older , just drives you nuts when they're young and always asking questions , she also sounds very honest, which again isn't a bad thing , sometimes my son wouldn't answer if certain adults spoke to him and when i asked him why he would say oh I don't like them or I couldn't be bothered to speak today which to us is rude because adults know sometimes you have to be nice to people you don't like but to a lot of kids they just don't get that Trouble with that one is i can see their point we tell them not to lie and be honest and then sometimes when they are we tell them not to be, no wonder they get confused
Saying what when you speak I get all the time, but usually it's because mine weren't listening maybe it's just a habit she's got into
Making things up is normal as well as she's exploring her imagination as she learns to read and write then she'll have another outlet for that as long as she knows the difference between whats real and whats not then it shouldn't be a problem, of course if shes telling other people things as if they are real when they're not then you might need to have a word and explain that it's ok to tell stories as long as you don't pretend they're real.
It all sounds pretty normal for a 5yr old to me though between 5 and 7 all of mine have seemed to go through a lot of changes though, they seem to be more aware of things and really start to develop their own personality around then xx
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:19 am
thanks for ur reply nat all ur advice and experience is s helpful:) i feel like a huge weight has been lifted knowing that its not just my daughter who is like this.
parts of what you ahve wrote made me giggle as it sounds so much how my daughter is about the honesty thing shes just so blunt and like well i didnt want to do that lol.
cant think u enough for replying i can really relax now and no this is all normal part of growing up.
you say ur kids talk all the time do you just let them get on with this or do u try and teach them that theres times were we chill out and dont need to talk all the time.
but yes im defintly gonna speak to her teacher and try and sort things out to keep her mind occupied as i do sometimes think she gets very bored as shes so bright.
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:50 pm
Well mine are a bit older now Laura so it's not as bad now but they still will chat to you all the way through a film that they've asked to watch usually question after question about whats happening but when they were younger I used to try distraction sometimes, like if they started a long story about something I'd ask them to draw me a picture of what happened instead and sometimes i have to admit I would just manage to let it wash over me and not really listen We did try and get some quiet time in the evenings, but as there were so many of us it was a bit of a losing battle really and generally the only quiet time we got when they were little was when they were asleep , it does get better though as they get older and learn to occupy themselves with something quietly when you want a little peace .
It's interesting when you do speak to their teachers to see just how different they can be at school compared to at home . I think she sounds great though , a real character xx
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:09 pm
Yes she is a wonderful kid and has a great character which every1 always comments on in a positive way.
I will try the distraction thing mite help wen im busy and yes i find myself nt really listening to her sumtimes and just agreeing wiv her which i feel pretty guilty about but glad im nt the only 1 who dus this.
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:28 pm
some of the stuff you have put describes sam now, i think i will be pulling my hair out in a couple of years
often i tune out to sam and just make 'umm, yes' sounds at regular intervals, but she has already cottoned on to that and says 'talk to me'
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:12 pm
My daughter doesn't stop talking either....she is non stop lol
She asks every morning 'what are we doing today?' so she needs to know whats happening! and she remembers everything. She was talking to the boy next door yesterday adn remembered that their fence was broken over a year ago!!!
Oh shs extremely bossy and confident too. The teacher said to me 2 weeks after starting preschool that she thinks she will be running it herself shortly.
Then on Saturday we popped to the pub to watch the Grand National and the juke box was on and she danced in front of the whole pub like she was doing a show for them
It must be a girl thing lol
Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:39 am
My daughter sounds so similar Laura. She also has an amazing memory like your little girl - sometimes to my disadvantage! By bedtime most days I just feel all talked out, the questioning is relentless too - I've told her before that I just don't have any more answers in my head! Luckily she starts school in 3 weeks, I thought that she be too little as she's only just turned 4 but I think that she's definitely ready! Emilia also says 'what' a lot even when she's heard you - which to be fair I can remember being told off for doing this! xx
Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:42 am
Oh and Emilia talks about death sometimes too. My FIL passed away on boxing day and we explained that he was too poorly and had to go to heaven with the angels which she took on board and understood well. If somebody has fallen on the tv or is asleep she'll ask if they're dead! It's just them getting their head around things and understanding them. x x