help/advice needed :(

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Joined: 11 Jan 2010
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:24 pm 
Post subject: help/advice needed :(
Im 18 weeks pregnant with my first child and im thrilled at the thought of being a mum, the problem is that my partner of a year and a half told me a few weeks ago that he doesnt love me any more and he left. He said he wants everything to do with our child and even wants to be at the birth still. We speak daily but im not coping at all with the break up.

I love him more than anything and had no idea he felt this way so it came as a huge shock. I've tried reasoning with him but I'm pretty sure his mind is made up and the prospect of being a single mother is quite daunting. I had so many plans for my perfect little family and I'm absolutely gutted that he's taken that away from me.

I'm confused as to where to go from here. Obvioulsy I want us to stay close on the off chance that over time he will fall back in love with me but at the same time I want to cut all ties so that he realises what he's missing out on.

We should be sharing all the highs and lows of this pregnancy together and it's heartbreaking doing it alone.

If anyone is going through or has gone through anything similar, please give me some advice as I'm at a loose end and feel like I'm really struggling already Sad
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 07 Jul 2008
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 7:52 pm 
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First of all im so sorry to hear of your break up, and congratulations on your pregnancy news. You need to get the idea of staying in touch may oneday bring him back, as this will make it hard for you to focus on the here and now. and if he doesnt then it makes the healing harder. It sounds as though he wants to raise this baby too, which is reassuring. Maybe getting him more involved with the pregnancy will help you through it as you still have a way to go. get him to attend scans/ ante natals/ classes. This should help him be more apart of baby's development.

as for after the birth, if you are still apart, your priority needs to be baby and not what could possibly be or not be as relationships go. its going to be tough, but truthfully it is for couples/ married couples too. babies change a lot of things at home. just make sure that if you need his help/ support you ask.

good luck. x
Joined: 26 Nov 2009
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 6:04 pm 
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Hi. my husband decided he wanted to leave when i was 3 and a half months pregnant with our third baby. I cried my way through the pregnancy and really coped badly and deep down i hoped that the birth of our child would bring us back together so i didnt really try getting over it. Once the baby was born 4 months ago my ex told me there was no way he was coming back and that sent me stright back to square one, it has taken ages to pick myself up but my children are my main reason for getting as far as i have got.
My ex and i dont talk at all which is my choice. As he got over me along time before he left i think he is that step ahead and is now wanting to be friends but i cant bear the thought. I literally drop off and collect kids and that is it, no communication at all unless its about children.
I have a lot more good days than bad now but it is still going to take a while as he totally ripped my perfect life apart.
I do though out of all of this thing everyhting happens for a reason and hopefully one day i will meet someone who will love me so much but in the mean time you have to look after yourself and your babies dont you.
I do hope it all goes well for you, keep in touch x
Guru Member
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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
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Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 12:36 pm 
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everyday, the anger, the hurt, the frustratons, the jealousy will get better until you look back and realise its no more there.
There is nothing wrong in grieving for someone who left you...but if he is not coming back, to hell with him and take charge of your life.
He doesnt deserve you then.
when you drop the kids for weekends, plan yours so that you go out with friends. have a good time and start enjoying your freedom every other weekend. You deserve it!
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