Affect on relationship with partner? and friends?

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Alice18
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 11:20 am 
Post subject: Affect on relationship with partner? and friends?
My bf doesn't really want another baby and seems to think its the end of the world!

However how did having a child affect your relationship?
Was it strengthened? do you still get to do things together? are you still together?

Also do you find your friends supportive/ and do you still get to go to the pub?

I'm just curious Smile
KNEE
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 8:35 pm 
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Hi, when I got pregnant the first time it was an accident but it deffinetley brought Kyle and I closer. Most weekends we go out together to the cinema or something but not as much as we used too. I don't mind not being out though. We got married in September so we're closer than ever. When I told my friends I was pregnant again they were very supportive but as I wa in bedrest most of the time I sort of drifted away from them as I wasn't at school or able to go study with them.

Hope this answers most of your questions.Nic xx
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Teashaa
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Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 1:52 pm 
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Hey. I'm 19, nearly 20. I had my first kid at 13 Confused But he passed away in 2007. Since then i had triplets and non of which seemed to make my and their dads relationship weaker. Infact, it made us stronger. Through everythin we've been through together, we have always been there for eachother. And my friends have always been there for me. At all times. And i still have time to go out to parties. My babies fathers parents look after the kids while we go out. Or other times, i would stay in and look after the kids while the father went out. Then the next time, we would swap around.

So id say that having kids is just the best thing ever, and although they change your life alot, they make it alot better. I wouldnt trade my life for anyone elses Very Happy

Teasha x
Alice18
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 3:50 pm 
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Thankyou both for your replies, its reassuring to hear that you both get to go out still even with children Smile

My boyfriends parents are really good aswell and already help look after his 3 year old, my parents are another story though Razz

Tbh the reason i ask is cause me and my bf are kinda going through a bad patch atm in our relationship and as bad as it sounds i'm kinda hoping this will bring us back together

xxx
HohLee
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 5:31 pm 
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a baby is not a relationship fix

thats such a bad idea, especially at he doesn't want another child! xx
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Teashaa
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 10:49 am 
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I agree. You cant bring a baby into such a poor relationship. Think how the baby would feel? More than likely if you purposely got pregnant, your boyfriend would dump you and your baby would grow up without a father. Bringin a baby up in an unstable enviroment isnt good. Wait until you're both ready before you have a baby. And make sure you talk to him about having one before hand. If things don't work out for you both, then maybe you'll get another chance of a baby when you are in a good relationship and both you and your partner are ready to bring a new life in between the two of you.

Teashaa x
meandmyboys
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 10:57 am 
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are you already pregnat ?? Very Happy
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Alice18
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 9:58 am 
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Well thankyou for your advice but yes i am already pregnant!!

I think maybe I didn't explain this very well, the pregnancy was unplanned and my bf kinda freaked out (as did i!) but actually since writing this his new job has been confirmed and he's come round to it alot more.

I know its not ideal to bring a baby into an unstable relationship but when i found out i was pregnant i just couldn't get rid of it. And so i was asking this to try and look on the positive side and see that not all unplanned babies are relationship killers.

Last year we were going to try for another child but due to him losing his job and a poorly two year old already we decided to wait till I'd finished uni. But that plan didn't work out....
xxx
meandmyboys
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 11:25 am 
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i thatght you were already pregnant

thats good that he is coming round to the idea of it i am sure he will love the baby to bits when it is here

congratulations have a h&h 9 months x Smile
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Alice18
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 11:29 am 
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Thankyou Smile tbh i still go between being extremly happy to extremly panicked and i think its harder for men cause they aren't as involved.

I just hope this does help us together cause with him quitting smoking and me having exams we've been a bit stressed lately..plus some of the replies have kinda freaked me out Laughing
xxx
HohLee
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 11:39 am 
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how far gone are you?

hope it works out for u x
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meandmyboys
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 12:31 pm 
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dont worry think they got the wrong end of the stick they must have thaught you were trying to get pregnant even tho you have problems

look dont worry every relationship goes tru rought patches you will get there me any mmy oh used to argue all the time but now we are stronger than ever dont get me wrong he still bugs me at times but i think our boys are the glue that hold us together

you will be fine, how far on are you ?? x Very Happy
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Alice18
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 2:17 pm 
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9 weeks only a little bean yet, i've got heartburn of doom though lol

Thanks for the well wishes Very Happy x
MichelleHx
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:03 pm 
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Hi congratulations on your pregnancy.

I can't really say whether having Imogen has brought me and oh closer. In some ways, yes but in others we are really struggling. But I think thats more us as we've gotten really lazy in the effort we put into our relationship. There are plenty of opportunities to do things together but we always just seem to let them pass us by.

As for my friends, they were all really supportive. And they are in love with Imogen now. They love coming to see her. However I would say it is hard keeping up with friend outings and such as a lot of the time people assume you're busy/not interested and don't invite you out so a lot of the time I have to be proactive if i wanna meet up with people. I have been out with friends though a few times and its been great.

sorry i don't think any of that will actually help you
hope you have a healthy and happy nextt 9 months xx
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amie41
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 7:44 am 
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i got an 8 weeks old son and it has ruined mine n my partners relatinship, we was split up for most the pregnancy n now we just argue x
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