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Joined: 30 Dec 2007
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:28 am 
Post subject: miscarriage
my husband and i just lost our second baby. our first was at three months and this one at six weeks. we both want children and have none yet. i am doing what my dr. tells me to do and dont understand why. i am a smoker but both times my dr. told me do not quit cold turkey. they said to cut back then quit so that is what i did. i am 25 years old and otherwise healthy. of course we both blame ourselves and tell the other it is not their fault. we are scared to try again but want a family. i have heard stories of women who have lost up to six and seven before they carried to term. i just dont know if i or we could go through that. if anyone out there has advice or maybe knows something i might not that would be great.
Joined: 07 Jan 2008
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:53 pm 
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The first thing is it is absolutely not your fault. There is no justice in the babaies we lose and the ones we keep, and why somepeople get pregnant straight way and others have to wait. I can't promise to know how you feeel but obviously cutting down on cigarettes (frankly giving up when you are already stressed seems mad, though obv advisable to dos o!), healthy diet and regular exercise should all be a good thing-though I am sure you are doing this already.

Despite the fact that the easiest way to get pregnant according to the popular press is to avoid government health advice, drink WKD smoke 20 B&H a day and conceive on a park bench!

Please try not to be despondent, you can only hope that one day everything will come right for for you and the o/h. I wish you so much luck. Try and stay positive, take steps toward maintaining your health and preparing for a baby and hopefully it will come and suprise you! x
Joined: 18 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:18 pm 
Post subject: miscarriage
Hi J

I can completely sympathise with how you are feeling. I had an ectopic pregnancy loss at 12 weeks, and then on 5th January this year a second miscarriage at 7 weeks. I cannot reiterate enough how important it is that you don't blame yourself for these losses. It seems terribly unfair, and you do want to rage against the world, but please keep ttc when you feel emotionally ready.

I smoked prior to both conceptions and tried to quit during the first pregnancy using NRT and then during the second by reading the Allan Carr, Easyway to Stop Smoking book. Unfortunately, I lost the second baby the day after I gave up smoking. However, I have managed to continue the non-smoking regime, and I'm trying to live as if I am pregnant (e.g. no alcohol, good balance of food including lots of fruit and veg, and gentle exercise regime). I'm hoping that this will mean that when I do next conceive, I will be in tip top condition for the pregnancy. I would recommend that you do try to quit smoking before you next conceive because it is the best thing for the baby in the long term. Try the Allan Carr book. It's definitely worth a go.

Good luck. Please let us know when you do conceive. Take care x
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